Page 20 of Feral Touch
“It’s just…” Mark hesitated.
“What? What are you trying to say? That nice girls don’t date rock stars?”
“No. It’s the other way around. Rock stars don’t date nice girls.”
Mark met my eyes, looking uneasy.
“Rock starsusenice girls.”
CHAPTER 5
INFORMATIONOVERLOADWASreal.
I clicked pause on yet another video. I didn’t know how long I’d spent researching Ren and Feral Silence on the internet. It must have been hours at least. I still wasn’t any closer to the answers I sought. I didn’t know what to do with Ren’s phone number. Should I call like I promised? Or should I stay away like Mark had suggested?
I had so many questions, the most important one being: why did he leave? I thought maybe Ren’s disappearance would be explained in one of his videos or interviews. Surely he must have answered questions about his past at least once. But every piece of information available about Ren stopped as of five years ago. It was like he didn’t exist before he joined Feral Silence.
I had other questions as well.
Why hadn’t he told anyone? Leaving home is one thing, but he snuck off into the night and we never heard from him again.
Why had he changed so much? Ren didn’t seem like the somber, withdrawn person I’d grown up with. It was a good change—of course it was—but had he also changed in other ways? How many of those changes weren’t so good? Why were there so many rumors about Ren’s band and their behavior toward their female fans? Was it based on truth or was the media exaggerating?
And why the hell had Ren joined arock bandof all things? He had been an impressive classical musician back when I knew him and he had only gotten better in the years since. He could have gotten a spot in any first-class symphony he wanted. He could have been one of the greats.
Why throw that all away to playbass guitarin somerock band?
It’s a fact that classical music takes more skill than just bashing away at a guitar on stage and screaming into a microphone. Ren’s violin solos brought people to tears. Could shrieking fangirls really be more of an incentive than touching the hearts of an audience?
Then again, Ren was a guy. Having girls fall all over themselves to be with you was probably every man’s dream.
Was that what Ren was like now? If so, I didn’t know what to do.
My thoughts were going in circles. I changed tactics, closing all the browser tabs with Feral Silence info and opening a new tab to look at job sites. I still needed to find a way to pay for my tuition.
I felt a glimmer of hope as I checked tutoring websites. Teaching kids how to play music would be a fun challenge. My hopes were quickly crushed. I couldn’t find any openings for cello instructors. Everyone wanted to play the electric guitar or drums. Cello was a bit too obscure for most kids.
I looked up articles on how to busk for money, but it turned out to be a lot more complicated than just setting yourself up on a street corner. There were permits and regulations and waiting lists. My tuition would be more than due by the time I even got through the paperwork.
I looked into jobs like cashier or retail sales, but they were all minimum wage. It would take me months and months to save up enough. Plus, all the stores hiring had terrible hours. I'd never be able to make them fit around my class schedule.
My final hopes were local classified listing for cello performers. Maybe an amateur musical theatre group needed a cellist for their orchestra. Unfortunately, most of the listings with cello in the description were for people selling cellos or tickets to concerts with cello performers.
One listing caught my eye. An event planning company was hiring musicians to play at private events evenings and weekends. They paid cash the day of each event. There was no specific request for cello players, but it did say they had open auditions. All they needed was an email with our name and instrument and we’d get put on the audition list.
From the movies I’d seen, fancy parties usually had string quartets, meaning two violins, a viola and a cello. I practically danced in my seat. I knew I could beat any competition out there. This could be the solution to all my troubles.
I checked the audition date and time and my heart sunk. It was the same time as one of my composition classes. I’d have to miss it. I hated missing class—attendance was part of our grade.
Then again, my attendance grade wouldn’t matter if I didn’t pay tuition on time. Before I could think twice, I sent off an email to the company to reserve my spot. That took care of one of my problems—I hoped.
Unfortunately, I still didn’t know what to do about Ren.
Days had passed and I still hadn’t contacted him. Was he waiting for me to text? Was he getting impatient? Worried? Maybe he wasn’t even thinking about me at all. He had a busy rock star life to lead.
“You still brooding?” Jen poked her head into my room with a disgruntled look on her face. “You should be jumping off the walls with joy, you know. I would be, if I had a rock star boyfriend.”
“He’s not—” I began to protest, then gave up. I couldn’t lie to myself. My interest in Ren wasn’t purely platonic. I didn’t know if he felt the same way, though. Maybe he really did just want to catch up with an old friend.
