Page 80 of Love Heals
Jared looked me over critically. My skin was still faintly red, but not as painful anymore. Jared’s fingers ran over my chest, where the stake should have left a hole but didn’t. "I thought that might work."
"I... how?"
Instead of responding, Jared closed his arms around me and held me tightly. Only now did I realize that I was trembling. But that was okay. I was safe with Jared. Safe to fall apart too. Jared would never take advantage of my weakness.
Exhaling, I allowed my tears to fall as the events of the night repeated themselves inside my mind once more. I’d come so close to losing everything. So close to…
“Shh, I got you,” Jared murmured, as if he knew exactly what was going on in my head. Maybe he did, or maybe he didn’t, but he never let go and that was what mattered the most. He was solid and he was there for me.
I cried into his shoulder until I had no more tears left in me, until I didn’t even know what I was crying about anymore. Jared never budged. He simply held me, rubbing circles on my back until my sobs subsided.
“How?” I asked once more as my tears dried on my cheeks. “Why?”
“I promised you my protection, didn’t I?”
I nodded slowly, remembering that promise, and the way it had confused me.
Jared brushed our lips together, just for a moment, before looking deep into my eyes. "Do you know how dhampir magic works?"
I shook my head.
"Love," Jared said. "My blood saved you because I love you."
My eyes widened as I struggled to come up with a way to respond. That was the reason behind the promise? Love?
No, that couldn’t be it. That was…
My mind blanked, struggling to process Jared’s words even as my heart beat almost painfully fast. Because wasn't this what I'd felt when I'd bitten him? When he'd healed me? That warm, happy feeling. It had been love. True, genuine love. Not the twisted version of it that I'd felt for my sire.
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes again. "I'm so sorry."
Probably not exactly what Jared had wanted to hear, but the thought I needed to express the most.
Jared dropped a kiss on the top of my head. "Don't be sorry. Just don't run away again."
I nodded, burying my head in his shoulder. "I thought I needed to go back to my coven. That I wasn't suited to living with mortals. That I would end up hurting you all. I didn't want to hurt Drizzit. I didn't want to hurt anyone."
Jared's grip on me tightened, almost to the point of painful. I liked it that way, though. If Jared wanted to hold me in a lung-crushing hug all day, every day, that was fine by me. "Why did you bite Drizzit?" he asked.
"I didn't want to! I just... I had this dream, about my sire, and when I woke up, I'd already..." I fumbled with the words, not knowing how to explain. "He used to punish me with animal blood."
"It's okay." Jared stroked my hair, still holding me close, as if he wasn't at all disgusted by my actions. "I'm sorry I can't heal all your wounds."
I took a deep breath so I wouldn't start crying. "You've done enough."
"I don't think I have." Jared kissed the top of my head. "But we'll have to work on this together in the future."
Instead of speaking, I only nodded, afraid what my words might sound like if I spoke. We continued to sit there, in the cool darkness of the staircase, for several minutes, neither of us speaking.
"How did you find me?" I asked when I was confident that I had myself under control again.
"The gem," Jared said.
I looked up in shock. Jared had sacrificed his memories for me? That... that was too much.
"It was worth it," Jared said before I could protest.
"I'm so sorry," I repeated my earlier words. "If I hadn't run off..."
"I'm not interested in pushing blame around,” Jared said. “Someone had to activate the gem. Now I know where we need to go next too."
I dabbed at my eyes, determined not to let any tears fall. "What memories did you sacrifice?"
Jared didn't respond immediately, lost in his thoughts. His grip on me loosened a tiny bit as he pondered the question. "I don't remember."
I cringed, because my question had been stupid. Of course he didn't remember. That was the whole point.
"It can't have been as important as saving you," he said.
I gave him a vague nod but said nothing, my stomach twisting into knots, because honestly? I wasn't so sure about that.
