Page 49 of Love Heals
This time, he was going to make sure that Silas knew exactly how he felt about him.
"I don't care that you're a vampire." Jared's voice came out as a growl. He hoped it wouldn't scare Silas, because that was the last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to make Silas feel safe, protected. He wanted to make Silas feel loved. So he wrapped an arm around the smaller man's waist and pressed their bodies together as he covered his lips with his own. Silas gave a surprised gasp, but didn't protest, fitting his body against Jared's. Blood rushed down to Jared's groin.
God, it was insane how much he wanted this man. To take him home, throw him down on his bed and climb over him, explore every inch of his skin, mark his naked body, claim him for himself. Make sure that no one ever got to hurt him again.
Silas whimpered against his mouth, making Jared press him closer still.
Not letting go again.He wanted say it, but couldn't with their mouths enmeshed, so he made sure to express the sentiment in the way he kissed Silas, holding him as tightly as he could.
Too soon, though, Silas yanked himself out of Jared's grip, making Jared feel as if someone had emptied a bucket of ice water over his head. "What's wrong?" Jared asked.
Silas breath came harsh, as if he was exactly as aroused as Jared had been, so why... "I can't," he said. "It's..." He broke off, seeming to struggle with the words. Instead of looking at Jared, he turned toward the sea. "I really want to, I just can't. It's not your fault."
"Why can't you?" Jared wanted to go to Silas, lay a hand on his shoulder and try to comfort him somehow, but he wasn't sure if his touch would be welcome or if it would make the vampire flinch away. That was the worst thing, really. He never wanted to give Silas any reason to be scared of him. So Jared remained where he was.
"It's a vampire thing." Silas's words were nearly swallowed up by the breeze coming from the sea. "My sire, he... He could give me orders that I couldn't refuse." Slowly, Silas turned to Jared again. "You'd think they'd lose their power after his death, but..."
"You still feel bound by them?"
"I don't know if it's just a feeling or if it's actual magic..." Silas’s jaw clenched, his eyes fixing on the sand by their feet. "I don't know if it makes any difference either."
"You can shake it," Jared tried to reassure him. "Give it time."
Silas looked up at that. "You'll wait?"
"Yes."
"What if I can never shake it? What if I'm too messed up?"
"I'll still be here for you."
"I don't..." Silas stopped whatever he was going to say and took a deep breath instead. "Maybe we should head home."
That probably wasn't the worst idea.
As they walked back to the car, Jared kept glancing at Silas, two steps behind him. The vampire kept his gaze directed at his feet, though. "You could ask the other vampires for advice," Jared suggested. "Talon and Crimson managed to break their sires' orders while their sires were still alive."
Silas's step slowed. "I'm not like them."
"No." Jared offered his hand to Silas, hoping that the vampire would take it. "But you don't have to be."
Silas considered Jared's hand for a long moment before taking it. "Thank you."
"I'll be here for you," Jared reiterated. "No matter what."
Silas nodded, even though his eyes wouldn't meet Jared's.
Jared squeezed his hand. He got the feeling Silas didn't believe him, and he hated that, but what could he do?
There was really only one thing: Stick with Silas for long enough to make his words reality.
