Page 37 of Love Heals
Chapter Fourteen
No one bothered us on our way up to Jared's room, which I was glad for, because I wasn't sure how Drizzit would react to the other vampires in the house. For now, he stuck close to me, then raced around Jared's room in a big loop once, sniffing at everything, before finally jumping on his bed and settling down. His tail wagged for a few seconds longer, then came to a rest as he closed his eyes to doze.
I smiled at him, sitting next to him on the mattress. "You've had an exciting day, haven't you?" I scratched Drizzit behind his fluffy ears. He didn't respond, except to wag his tail again once.
The mattress dipped as Jared sat on my other side, a good couple of inches away. Still keeping his distance, as if he was afraid of getting too close. Not afraid of me, but afraid of losing control. I understood that now. I felt his attraction in the air, even without searching for it. It was always there, to some degree, but it was harmless.
Jared wasn't like Nicolai. Nicolai took what he wanted. Jared would never assume that I belonged to him. It didn't matter how much a certain part of me wanted him to take me and use me whatever way he pleased. It would feel good. It would feelright.I existed to serve, after all.
My mind caught on that thought like a bump in the road, forcing me to reexamine it.
Ididexist to serve, didn't I?
It was all I knew.
At least, it was all I'd known in my time as a vampire. In my time as a pet. I lowered my gaze to my lap, exhaling. I used to think that this had been my lifebeforeI'd become a vampire as well. Only that I'd had to serve multiple masters before, for payment.
Maybe that wasn't true. Or maybe it was, but it was only part of the truth.
Time to find out.
"Are you going to bite me?" Jared asked.
I considered him. "Only if you don't mind."
Instead of responding with words, he tilted his head to give me better access to his neck. His blood called out to me, flowing through his veins, his arteries... Still, I hesitated.
I felt like I was about to stick my hands in a pile of broken glass and search for pieces that wouldn't cut me. The colored ones with round edges that would catch the light when pulled from the rubble and make the world look a thousand times more beautiful.
Would they make the search worth it?
When I didn't act, Jared laid his arm around my shoulders, a warm, comfortable weight. "I'll be here for you after," he said.
I swallowed, my throat suddenly becoming too tight for words.
"You can do this," Jared insisted.
For some reason, I believed him. My fangs extended, and before I could lose myself in hesitation again, I sank them into Jared's skin. His blood flowed onto my tongue, warm and alive and more delicious than anything in the world had any right to be.
Live-blood had been a rare treat while I was under Nicolai's thumb. Every time he let me bite someone, I thought the taste of their blood was the most amazing thing ever. But that was before I'd tasted Jared. Nothing could compare to Jared. I sucked his blood into my mouth, instincts overriding any ounce of hesitation that might have lingered.
Only a few seconds into this, the memories started to appear. Blurry images at first, that quickly turned sharp, surrounding me. Smell and sound came next, then sensation, almost as if I were traveling back in time. I was only vaguely aware that I was still in Jared's bedroom, not out on the streets, lying on the ground while some other teens kicked me in the stomach.
I gasped, trying to yank myself out of that moment. That memory definitely didn't have round edges.
The next moment, though, the memory lost its focus, all of the colors blurring into one another until they formed an entirely new image. I saw a man with blond hair. My dad. He looked angry, holding something in his hand. A rolled up magazine.
"What did we send you to bible camp for?" he asked.
My old self scoffed. "Becauseyou'resuch a god-fearing Christian. I know what you're really doing when you tell Mom you have to stay late at work."
"Why you—" My dad raised the magazine at me, and I realized that yes, this memory had sharp edges too.
I winced.
Wasn't there anything good? Anything worth remembering?
The memories came faster now, almost too fast for me to process, speeding by before I could truly focus on a single one. I was choking, and then I wasbeingchoked, or hit, or kicked. Jesus Christ, how many times had I been kicked in my life? And always when I was already down.
