Page 2 of Love Heals
I shook my head, because my sire was eyeing the tape again. "The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the womb, sire," I added, trying to show-off just how well I'd listened.
"And what happens to traitors and defectors?"
"They must be eliminated, sire."
"So you're capable of learning after all. Very well, pet." He picked something else up from the bedside table. A clothespin? What was he planning to do with that? A foreboding sense of panic tightened my chest again. Hadn't I told him what he wanted to hear?
My sire turned to me again with the tape and the pin. "Now, have you also learned that a lack of oxygen won't kill you?"
"I have," I said quickly, because I really didn't need another demonstration.
Nicolai wasn't to be deterred, though. "If you've learned that, then you won't mind this." With that, he put his torture devices in place, cutting my airwaves off once again. At least this time, I'd gotten a bit of a warning. I'd been able to take a deep breath to prepare myself.
That didn't help for long, though. Maybe it was the panic or maybe it was the stress, but my lungs started burning almost immediately. I hated this. I hated everything. Frantically, I shook my head, trying to shake the clothespin loose, but that only served to make me dizzy.
If I could just get my hands to cooperate... if I could just....
"Shhh, no need to panic, my pet." Nicolai's fingers ran down my side. I barely registered the touch. I wished I could tell him to take these damn things off me. "The worst that can happen to you is that you'll pass out. But even that won't happen for at least half an hour. You'll see, vampires are much sturdier than mortals."
Half an hour?
Holy shit, he wasn't expecting me to take this for half an hour, was he?
The sadistic glee in his eyes told me that yes, yes he was.
I closed my eyes, tried again to breathe, to move my hands, my head... anything to get some oxygen into my lungs. Only to realize once more that it was impossible. Tears stung the corners of my eyes. Before I even knew they were there, my sire had wiped them away. And before I knew what I was doing, I was leaning into him, if only because the way his hands skated over my skin gave me something to focus on other than the agony in my chest.
"That's right, pet," he murmured into my ear. "Be good for me." He stroked my hair, kissed my tears away. I stopped trying to move my hands, stopped trying to breathe. "So good for me."
My sire's praise warmed me, made everything just a little more bearable. I wanted to hate that feeling, but I needed it too much.
"Don't you see? Things get better when you don't fight me."
And wasn't that the lesson he really wanted to teach me? Again and again...
"I don't know why it always takes you so long to accept that."
I knew why. Because going down this road was too easy. Because every time I went into this head space, it got a little bit harder to get back to myself. One day, I wouldn't. One day, I would be nothing more than Nicolai's pet.
For good.
