Page 20 of Love Heals
I eyed Jared suspiciously. "Who did I share it with?"
"Other kids who were in the same position as you. You'd formed a sort of family out there. They were devastated when you didn't return."
I swallowed. In all my time as a vampire, I'd never once imagined that anyone from my former life might be missing me. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. Once, I'd asked Nicolai if I'd had a family. He said I didn't, and that the coven was my family now, and that was that.
"Why did you know me?" I asked Jared, because I needed a distraction. Something to think about other than street kids and how they struggled to survive. Something to ponder other than the question that nagged at the back of my mind. If I'd been part of a group, why had Nicolai picked me and not one of the others?
Why did fate keep singling me out when I didn't deserve it?
"I'm a social worker," Jared told me. "I tried to help."
"Oh." That was not the response I had expected. With the pulses of attraction coming off him, I'd figured he might have been a customer. "I thought..."
"I know what you must have thought," Jared cut me off. His eyes were fixed on me, even though he couldn't be seeing much in the dark. "Talon told me about your talent."
I'd almost forgotten that Aldrich and Talon were here. The original traitors. I scoffed. If they hadn't started all of this...
"You have to know that I'm never going to touch you if you don't want me to," Jared said, even though his arm was still around my waist and he'd never asked permission forthat. He might have let go if I'd tried to shrug him off, but I didn't feel inclined to.
"I'm not scared of you," I said truthfully. "I can tell you're trying to suppress your desire."
Jared didn't immediately respond to that. While he thought about his answer, I moved closer to him. If that didn't underline my point, I didn't know what would. Straddling his lap, I tucked my head under his chin while he remained motionless—except for the motion his arm made to follow the movement of my body, keeping me in his embrace. I exhaled and closed my eyes, listening to the beating of his heart. His attraction for me was like a wave that built, then crashed too soon, causing ripples in the air between us. I let them wash over me and smiled. "Why are you trying so hard?"
"Because I shouldn't touch you."
"But you want to," I pointed out.
"That's..." Jared started but didn't finish the sentence. It seemed he didn't know what to say, which made me smile again. Nicolai had never been lost for words. He'd always been so sure of what he said. This mortal wasn't my sire, though, which was weird, in a way, because I hadn't touched anyone but my sire in so long. I didn't know how to feel about it. I wasn't sure how to act, either, so I simply acted on impulse.
With one hand, I lifted the hem of Jared's shirt and slid my fingers up under the fabric, feeling for his skin. His muscles contracted under my fingertips. Hard, hard muscles. He obviously worked out.
Another wave of desire washed over me. This one only partially Jared's fault.
"Why shouldn't you touch me?" I asked, wondering if I could get Jared to loosen his grip on his control without resorting to magic again. Maybe if I moved my fingers a little higher. What would he do if I pinched his nipples?
Involuntarily, I shuddered. Even just entertaining these thoughts inspired a heady feeling in me.
How long had it been since I'd been free to explore another man's body? And Jared's body looked like it would be so much fun to explore.
I only needed to ignore that nagging sensation in the back of my mind that told me I shouldn’t be doing this.
"I'm not... I'm straight," Jared said, but the amount of time it had taken him to come up with that response really said it all.
"You're not straight," I said. "I can tell, remember? But don't worry, your secret is safe with me."
Suddenly, Jared clamped downhardon his desires, almost as if slamming the floodgates shut to defend against a tidal wave. The sudden absence of pheromones in the air shook me almost as hard as the waves had.
Had I said something wrong?
Jared grabbed my wrist and set it on his leg. Already, I missed the feeling of naked skin under my fingertips. It had been so wonderfully distracting.
"I can't touch you because you're in a vulnerable position," he said, his tone surprisingly firm for all his prior confusion. "You're not well and we're holding you captive. It wouldn't be right and it wouldn't mean anything."
Even as he spoke, though, I could tell he was struggling to keep his lust for me contained. It wasn't in his voice, but in the way the air sparked between us. In the way his grip on my wrist tightened ever so slightly, as if he didn't want to let go.
It wasdefinitelyin the way his pants tented when I moved my hand that way.
"Why does it have to mean anything?" I asked. I was here, I was willing. What was his problem? I glanced at his neck again, wanting to sink my teeth into him once more. Wondering if I should use my magic to get what I wanted. If I gave him just a little push, would that be so bad?
