Page 18 of Love Heals
Chapter Eight
Iwas surrounded by fire. Somewhere in the basement. The flames were everywhere. And the smoke. Oh God, the smoke. It burned in my lungs. Vainly, I tried to raise my hands to cover my eyes as they teared up, but it was impossible. My hands, my arms were bound. To a table. No, a bed. I wasn't in the basement anymore. I was in my sire's bed. The fire was still there, though, the flames licking at all the furniture in the room. The large mirror, the dark wood dresser, even the oil paintings on the wall were obscured by smoke.
Frantically, I looked around the room as I searched for some way to free myself.
"Hold still."
I froze at the sound of my sire's voice. He was alive, he was here.
What was I thinking? Of course he was alive. Nicolai would never leave me.
Hadn't I accepted that years ago?
My sire stepped out of the smoke, toward me, looking absolutely perfect. It was only when he stood right beside me that I noticed the skin on his arm was melting. The sight made me shudder as my eyes grew wide, then teared up once more, this time for a different reason. Involuntarily, I pulled at my chains again, even though I knew better than to do that in my sire's presence. But that was just who I was. I could never stop making mistakes.
"I told you to hold still," Nicolai reminded me. "You can do that for me, can't you?" His hand reached for me, the tips of his fingers caressing my cheek in a gesture that was deceptively gentle.
"I'll be good," I promised, the way I always did. "But the smoke—"
"Shh, don't worry about that."
"We're going to burn!"
My sire's tone turned sharper. A clear signal for me to shut up and stop protesting. "I told you not to worry about that," he reminded me. Then he sighed. "I'll have to punish you again, won't I?"
I started to shake my head, then stopped, knowing that the action would be pointless. All of this would be over faster if I just gave in. Once the punishment was over, my sire would be gentle with me again. That was the way it always was. As long as I kept that in mind, I could take it. Whatever punishment he wanted to dish out.
At least, that was what I was telling myself as he went to the dresser and pulled out the whip. I had to stop myself from squirming in my chains again. Why did it have to be the whip? I hated that thing. Nicolai didn't often go for corporeal punishment, but when he did...
I didn't even really deserve it! I only tried to warn him of the smoke! Because we were both going to burn and his arm was already melting and oh God...
As Nicolai turned back to me, I could see that his face had started melting too.
Of course it had, because this damn fire had killed him. Because I'd betrayed him.
It was then that I realized that Ididdeserve this punishment.
I was a traitor.
Exhaling, I closed my eyes, willing myself to lie completely still, even as the whip came down and tore through my skin.
I woke with a start, my heart pounding in my ears and my breath coming in hard and fast, almost as if I were still mortal. Too slowly I realized that I'd been dreaming. I wasn't in the basement or in Nicolai's bedroom. Nicolai wasn't here and his skin wasn't melting off his face.
Deep breath,I told myself.In and out.
Still, my heart wouldn't slow, too much of my brain still caught in the fantasy it had made up for itself.
The worst part of it wasn't even that I couldn't stop thinking about the way my sire looked with his face burned off, or the way the pain had felt so shockingly real.
The worst part was that my punishment had never happened and I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not.
Itshouldhave happened. I could take it. I deserved it.
Hugging my knees to my chest, I took another deep breath, trying to center myself.
Traitor, a low voice whispered in my ear. I didn't try to turn around and look, knowing it was just my mind playing tricks on me.I was alone in the room.
At least, that was what I thought until the mattress dipped next to me and a large hand settled on my shoulder. I jerked my head, trying to see who it was.
