Page 64 of Love Heals
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jared couldn't really mean it. He couldn't. I stared at him, the way he just lay there, waiting for me to make a move. Where would I even start?
What would I want him to do to me?
Following an instinct, I straddled Jared's hips. Then I waited a second, only moving again when he didn't try to shove me off him. I pulled his shirt over his head. He raised his arms to assist me. I swallowed. This was surprisingly easy.
Better than easy.
It wasn't just that Jared didn't mind. He was actually enjoying this. I could tell by the way his pants tented under my ass—and by the way his hormones hung thick in the air. So thick that I couldn't take a breath without his desire slamming into me, fueling my own. I'd never been able to use my magic on other vampires, so I'd never slept with anyone whose attraction I could feel like this.
I'd never known it could get this intense.
I almost just wanted to close my eyes, lay myself on top of Jared and breathe him in.
Instead of following that fantasy, I let my hands roam the planes of skin that had revealed themselves to me when I'd removed his shirt. "You work out?" I asked, feeling his muscles bunch underneath my fingertips.
"A few times a week."
"It shows."
"I bet you're still stronger than me."
I gave Jared a smile in response. Physical strength wasn't everything. All things considered, I really wasn't strong at all. In a way, I was grateful that he'd called things off when he had. Now he would never have to know how close I'd come to telling him to stop. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy what he was doing. I'd been enjoying it too much.
Too much for the voices in my head, anyway.
Being overpowered was one thing, but enjoying it too? That was traitor-territory again.
Don't think about that now,I tried to make myself focus back on the present, on Jared, lying beneath me, waiting for me to make my move.
I scooted a little lower to pull down his boxers. Nowtherewas something to distract me. Nicolai hadn't been small, but he was nothing compared to Jared. Involuntarily, I licked my lips. What would Jared's cock feel like in my ass? All thick and solid...
Jared blew out a breath when I wrapped my fingers around his hard length. Another wave of desire rolled off him and washed over me, so thick it left me breathless for a moment. Almost as if I were really submerged under water instead of just basking in the scent of another man's arousal.
How much stronger could these waves get?
Wanting nothing more than to find out, I dipped my head and guided Jared's cock into my mouth. He tensed, then relaxed, making me smirk around the hot flesh on my tongue. He tasted salty, but also like that time I first bit him. A flavor I didn't have the words to describe, but that I would never forget. It was partly sweet and partly bitter and one-hundred percent irresistible. I wanted more of it. Always more.
Relaxing my throat, I took Jared as deeply as I could, trying not to think about the way my sire used to praise me for my lack of gag-reflex. I must have lost that long before I ever met Nicolai, but he surely made use of it.
This wasn't about Nicolai, though. I was doing this for Jared now. I wanted Jared to enjoy this.
Judging by the sounds he made, by the way his fingers dug into the bed sheets, he did. I would have smiled, if my mouth hadn't been so full.
"Silas..." he said my name almost as if it were a prayer. Another thing that made me want to smile. Instead of doing that, I swallowed around him, making him gasp. I wondered if he knew that vampires didn't technicallyneedto breathe. I could keep him in my throat for a long time if I wanted to.
Maybe my sire had taught me some useful things after all.
Needing to chase the thought away, I moved my head back and forth on Jared's cock, making it fuck my mouth the way I wished it would fuck my hole. My motions were rough, jerky. Designed to punish myself as much as they were designed to pleasure Jared. But that was what I wanted now. That thin edge of pain that would stop me from lingering on the past for too long.
Jared grabbed my shoulders, though, and forced me to stop. He fixed me with his gaze, breathing hard. It felt as if he were seeing right through me—and he didn't like what he saw there. I let his cock slip from my mouth. "What?" My question came out a little more sharply than I'd intended.
"Not like this," he growled. "Don't use my body to hurt yourself."
I looked away, feeling caught. "I only want to make you feel good."
With one finger on my cheek, he tilted my face back to him. "You deserve to feel good too."
