Page 61 of Love Heals
Chapter Twenty-One
Jared tried his best to go to sleep, but every five minutes, he found himself looking toward the window. He'd left it open, hoping for Silas to come back, but so far, there was no sign of the small canary in the sky.
Drizzit slept at the foot of his bed, apparently undisturbed by the vampire's absence. Undisturbed or unconcerned. Drizzit obviously trusted Silas to come back. Jared should too.
If you love it, set it free.The old piece of wisdom hung in his mind. He needed to trust Silas to make the right choices.
But was coming back here really the best thing for the vampire? Jared couldn't blame him if he wanted to reunite with his coven instead. His sire hadn't treated him well, but maybe he’d had other friends… vampire friends. Jared swallowed hard. Hadn’t he thought once or twice that his family would be better off without vampires, when Collin had introduced him to his vampire lover? That they should stick to their own kind?
What a hypocrite he was.
Now all he could do was to keep looking at the window, hoping that wherever Silas was, he was doing well.
At some point, his eyes must have drifted closed, because they snapped open with a jolt when a rattling sound came from the window, and then a thud.
Jared sat up the moment he heard it. "Silas?" In the dark, he could just so make out the vampire's shape. Quickly, he flicked the bedside lamp on. That was when he saw that the dog had already jumped off the bed to greet their visitor.
Silas leaned down to pet the dog, but when he straightened again, the look in his eyes was haunted. He seemed tired beyond what a good night's sleep could fix. Jared studied him slowly before approaching.
"Where did you go?" he asked, coming to stand only two steps away from Silas. He wanted to get even closer, completely erase the distance between them, but how would Silas react to that after what happened the last time they'd kissed?
Silas shook his head. "Just out. It doesn't matter." He stepped forward and grabbed both of Jared's hands in a hurried motion. "I need you to tie me up."
Jared stared at Silas. Had he heard that right? “Tie you up?" Was that some sort of kink? Were they really ready for that when they hadn't even been able to tick 'kissing' off their list?
"You have to." Silas's eyes bore into his, shining with determination. He took yet another step closer, bringing himself into kissing-distance—and Jared, really, really wanted to kiss him again. He wanted to close his arms around Silas and make sure that he would stay, here, with Jared, where he was safe. But he didn't know how to respond to his request.
"Why?" he asked, inhaling Silas's scent with the next breath he took. Silas smelled like the night, clear and fresh, and impossibly tempting.
Silas brushed up against him, speaking into his ear. "Because I want you to fuck me."
Jared's breath caught in his throat as his blood left his brain to pool in his groin.
"Please," Silas continued. "I need you to fill me with your cock until I can't think about anyone other than you."
Anyone other than you. He had to mean his sire by that. Jared wished he weren't so acutely aware of the fact that there'd been another man in Silas's life. All because Jared had failed to claim him when he'd first had the chance. The thought alone got his blood boiling, made him want to take Silas and throw him on his bed and leave marks all over his body.
But he didn't want to hurt Silas. He didn't want to tie him up the way Nicolai probably had.
"You're a vampire," he reminded Silas. "Even if I tied you to my bed, you could break free easily."
Silas shook his head, his soft hair tickling Jared's skin. "I spent some time depleting my magic before coming back here."
"Your magic affects your strength?"
"No, but it means I'm low on blood, which affects everything."
Jared tried to process what Silas was saying, tried to focus, but the vampire was making it difficult by resting his hands on Jared's hips and pressing into him, his lips kissing the corner of Jared's mouth and the hard length in his pants poking his thigh.
"Please," Silas said again, his breath so warm on Jared's cheek he didn't appear like a vampire at all. "It's the only way I can think of. I can't have options, I can't..." He trailed off, shaking his head again. Exhaling, he rested his forehead on Jared's shoulder. "I need this to move on."
Jared wanted to tip his chin up to kiss him, give him whatever he needed to move on. Except he couldn't do that while he didn't understand what was happening. "You want me to force you to disobey your sire's orders?"
"It's the only way," Silas repeated, his voice muffled.
Something in Jared's chest clenched tightly. Tying Silas up and forcing him into sex... No, he couldn't do that. It wasn't who he was. "I'm not going to rape you."
Silas looked up at him, eyes shining. "Not even if I want you to?"
