Page 53 of Love Heals
I had Jared to thank for that. Jared and the dog.
I looked toward the open door, where Drizzit sat, watching me. Waiting. He wasn't going to come closer while I was talking to Crimson, but he would be there for me when I needed him. Warmth spread in my chest.
How did I get to be this lucky?
I glanced at Crimson again. "You killed our sire, didn't you? What was that like?" I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear about this part, but suddenly, I felt like I needed to know what my sire's last moments had been like.
Crimson peered down into his glass while he spoke. "It was... weird." He raised his gaze to meet mine. "I've never told anyone, but it felt wrong." He shuddered visibly. "I don't regret doing it, but I'm glad that it's over."
I nodded as if I understood, even though I didn't. In truth, I was just happy that it hadn't been easy for him to sever the bonds that tied him to Nicolai either.
Raising my glass to my lips once more, I drained the rest of the blood. "Maybe I can work around my orders."
"Work around them?"
"Say I write the information down, just for myself, and I just happen to leave the notes lying around somewhere and someone else just happened to find them..."
Crimson eyed me intently. "Do you think that would work?"
"I'm going to try."
"All right. I'm going to get you something to write, and I'll tell everyone to stay out of the kitchen."
"Thank you."
"No, thank you." Crimson finished his drink and then laid one hand on my shoulder. His touch felt oddly reassuring. It reminded me of when I'd been alive. When I'd had friends. "You can do this," he said.
I almost believed him. Iwantedto believe him. But all I could do was nod stupidly as I watched him go. I eyed the bottle of alcoholic blood. There was still some red liquid left in there...
Crimson came back after a moment, a pen and a few sheets of paper in his hands. He left them on the kitchen counter for me. "All yours. Let me know if you need anything else."
"I will."
Crimson vacated the room again. In his stead, Drizzit came in, as if he needed to remind me that I wasn't alone. Taking the pen and paper, I slid down to sit on the floor next to the dog, my back resting against the dishwasher.
With one hand, I stroked Drizzit's warm fur, in the other, I was twirling the pen.
In theory, my plan sounded simple. Write down what I know, leave the paper on the counter and go back to my room. I wasn't opposing Nicolai's orders by doing that, at least, notactively,but intent still mattered. My plan was to do thisin orderto oppose my sire's command. That was where it got tricky.
I pressed the tip of the pen against the paper. In my head, I knew exactly the words I needed to write, but it was difficult to move my hand in the right ways. It was as if the connection between my brain and my hand was littered with road blocks, distorting the signal.
If you do this, you're a traitor,a voice in my head said as my fingers cramped around the pen.
But I already was a traitor, wasn't I? I had already decided to rebel.
The pen moved. I wrote one word, then two. A full sentence.
A grin took over my face. I was doing it! This was working!
You still have time to stop.
There was that annoying voice again. Not only the voice this time either. Images too. Of me and my sire, cuddled up in bed together. What kind of person was I, to promise my undying love to someone one day, then stab them in the back the next?
Drizzit nudged the back of my hand with his nose, ripping me out of my thoughts. I blew out a breath, trying to center myself. The kitchen floor felt cold under my legs and the control panel of the dishwasher was digging into my shoulder.
I was not with Nicolai anymore.
I would never be with Nicolai again.
