Chapter Fifteen
The colors never returned, but sometimes, the warmth did, and with it, a sort of floaty feeling. I couldn’t tell how much time passed between the warm and the cold periods, but I always tried to hold on to the warm ones.
Sometimes, when I wasn't fighting off the cold, it felt like I could almost... almost leave this world behind. Like there was another world just outside my reach. One where I had more control over my limbs. But while I was warm, struggling to get there never seemed worth the effort. And while I was cold, I could never find my way.
Sometimes I heard voices, but I could never make out the words. It was as if someone was speaking to me in a language I didn’t know and their voice was distorted by all the distance it had to cross to get to me and all the obstacles in the way.
But then, someone said my name.
I heard it clear as day, even as I was enveloped in a cocoon of comfortable warmth, wrapped in a state of mind where I didn't want to be thinking about anything at all.
Someone had said my name.
The sound came again. Not saying my name this time, but the same voice.
I knew that voice.
Suddenly, the warm cocoon that had kept me afloat fell away. The cold rushed in. I scrambled, trying to run away from it on legs that didn't feel like they belonged to me, even though I knew there was nowhere to run.
The voice came again, more urgently this time. "Luke," it said, as if it wanted me to respond.
How could I, when I didn't even know who was talking to me?
You do know,a different voice, this one coming from inside of me said.Think. Remember.
But it was really hard to do that while my teeth were chattering. Where had the warmth gone? Why had it left me?
"Luke!" This time, it sounded like a command.
Why did the voice sound so familiar? Why did I want to run toward it and away from it at the same time? It made no sense.
There were more words. Words I didn't understand, couldn't understand, because I was too busy trying to figure out where I'd heard that voice before. Someone touched my chin. My whole body lit up.
The warmth came creeping back into my limbs. Only it was too warm now. Suddenly, I didn't know what was worse, being cold or being too hot.
Some sort of sound escaped me, something almost like a whine.
"Sh, I got you."
The voice sounded gentle, caring, and the words made sense. They were my language. They were...
They were coming from my right.
I tried to look in that direction, but everything was a blinding white.
"I'm right here with you."
Damian. That was Damian's voice. He was here with me. Only I couldn't see him because... because my eyes were still closed. And I felt so hot now, so damn hot. Burning. And I didn't know how to break out of this dream, because it had to be a dream.
"It's all right," Damian said, but it wasn't.
His fingers stroked my hair, making me still. How was it that I could hear his voice, feel his touch, but I couldn't wake up?
I wanted so badly to wake up.
I needed to apologize.
He already forgave you, a voice in my head reminded me. He had, hadn't he? But I wasn't sure that it was enough. I just... I needed to see him again.