Page 71 of Love Bleeds
Greedy, probably, because I wanted Crimson all for myself. That was selfish, wasn't it? I needed to let him figure out his new life and be okay with wherever that path of discovery might lead him. As long as he was safe.
"Luke...?"
I shook my head, and then, blinking rapidly, I opened a new tab on the computer's browser and navigated to Facebook. "See, this is your brother. Max." I gestured at the man's profile picture. He was wearing a suit and looking very proper.
"I don't remember him."
"That doesn't surprise me." I clicked over to the rest of Max's pictures, hoping to find some more members of Damian's family. "He hasn't even posted an update about your disappearance. He used to call us the virgin squad because he thought our hobbies were childish."
"He sounds like a dick."
"Yeah, well..." I trailed off, finding a picture of Max's college graduation that had his parents in it. "These are your Mom and Dad."
"I don't remember them either."
"They didn't abuse you or anything, but you weren't on great terms. They wanted you to become a lawyer and work in the family business."
Crimson smiled at that. "Funny how I broke free from them only to end up stuck in a law firm anyway. I guess you could call that destiny?"
I scoffed. "Totally different things."
"Yeah, maybe." He leaned back in his chair. "I wanted to be an astronaut?"
"You were always talking about working for NASA. You wanted to see the stars."
A wistful expression took over Crimson's features. "It's a good thing then, that moonlight doesn't hurt me. I can still see the stars."
"I guess that's true." I licked my lips. "It was kind of impressive, you know? You could look up at the night sky and name every star. Or that's what it felt like, anyway."
Crimson got up from his chair and walked over to the window. The sun had gone down a few hours ago, but I doubted that he could see much in the sky. The weather had been overcast the past couple of days. Still, I rose from the table, leaving the laptop behind to join him.
"I don't remember them," Crimson said, eyes searching the dark sky. "If I loved the stars as much as you say I did, how is there nothing about them in my memory?"
"You could learn again," I said. "There's a ton of resources online. I can show you some if you want to."
He shook his head without looking at me. "It wouldn't be the same."
I didn't have a response to that, because I knew it wasn't really the stars he was worried about. It was that and all the other small things that had made him the person he used to be. "It doesn't have to be the same," I said eventually. "People are constantly growing and evolving."
Finally, he turned to me. "I'm not sure I would call being turned into a vampire growing and evolving."
"I'm sure there's people who would." I gave him a small smile, trying to take some of the heaviness out of the air between us. "I don't care if you never learn the name of another star." The sincerity of my emotions surprised me. It was true that I missed my best friend, that there was a part of me that missed Damian even while I was with Crimson, but I had spent a lot of time mourning Damian's passing. For a short period, after I first saw Crimson, I thought I could get him back. I didn't, of course, but in exchange, I gained a sense of acceptance.
Damian's soul would always live on in Crimson, but Damian was gone.
Crimson would never be Damian again, but I was okay with that.
Because Crimson was pretty great himself.
This was a man who'd been willing to stand up to his sire for me even when he didn't remember who I was.
The first man I'd ever kissed, and the only man I'd ever wanted to be kissed by.
We were going to be fine, whether he remembered the stars or not.
I pulled the curtains close. "Let's stay on earth tonight, okay?"
He nodded.
