Page 42 of Love Bleeds
All these years, I hadn't even noticed that he had feelings for me. I'd been so oblivious I'd thought the whole idea was ridiculous.
Until he'd kissed me.
He'd literally had to kiss me for me to see that side of him.
"I'm so sorry," I found myself saying, staring at the bed sheets.
"Hey." Damian tipped my chin up, forcing me to look at him instead. "Let's stop apologizing to each other, okay?"
"You don't even know what I'm sorry for."
"I'm sure it's fine, whatever it is. I forgive you."
"But--"
Damian rested his thumb on my lips, making me shut up. "We can talk about this later, but how about you sleep a few more hours first?"
I exhaled and nodded, because I really was tired--and delaying my confessions to some vague point in the future sounded like a good idea too. "You have to stay," I said when Damian removed his thumb from my mouth.
"I'll be here when you wake up, promise."
I studied him carefully, trying to judge if he was telling the truth, but he seemed sincere. One of his hands found my shoulder again as I settled back down into a more horizontal position. Once I was comfortable, he sat in the chair next to the bed.
"I'll stay right here," he said.
I shook my head at him.
"That's not good enough?" he asked.
"It's..." I licked my lips. "This bed is big enough for both of us," I said then, because I couldn't go to sleep knowing he might end up sitting in that chair for hours on end. He had to be tired too, after everything that had happened.
And maybe, just maybe, I wanted him closer.
After all the time I'd spent without him, who could blame me?
If I couldn't hold on to him, how would I know that he'd still be there when I woke up, no matter what he said?
Fortunately, Damian didn't question my motives. In fact, he stripped down to his boxers as if it was no big deal. In a way, it wasn't. I'd seen him in his boxers plenty of times. But that was before he'd... before I'd kissed him. I closed my eyes, because I wasn't sure what to make of what I was seeing--or rather because I wasn't sure what to make of the feelings the sight of my best friend's naked skin stirred in me now. It made no sense. I wasn’t gay, so why…?
I shut the thought down, too tired to analyze the mess of my emotions.
The mattress dipped as Damian climbed under the covers with me.
It wasn't the first time we shared a bed.
Itwasthe first time Damian drew me against his chest and kissed the back of my neck.
I should have felt weird, but I didn't. A feeling of rightness settled deep in my guts as my body relaxed in Damian's embrace, and as sleep beckoned and my mind fogged over, I knew only one thing--that I was very, very happy with where I was and who I was with.
Everything else, I could figure out later.
