Page 35 of A Dragon's Miracle (Fires of Fate)
Ryan
Toward the end of January, Finn's band,Wings of Fate, played a show in town, and they'd asked me and Roger to handle the merchandise table.
“Will you be alright here?” Zed asked me a few minutes before everything was about to start. He put his hand on the table, as if his question was solely about the merchandise, but I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was more interested in how I was holding up physically. He'd felt the extent of my cancer back in November, and he had to be wondering how I was still on my feet.
“I'll be fine,” I told him. “Besides, I'm not alone.” I nodded at Zed's mate, who was busy selling t-shirts with the band logo to some of the more hardcore fans. “We've got everything under control here.”
I gave Zed a smile, but the truth was that I'd already used up all the medicine I'd received from Jin, just a few days before. My health had taken a turn for the worse this month. I'd known that it was coming, of course, but I hadn't expected it so soon. Something was off, but I didn’t know what.
Zed nodded. He had to be thinking the same thing, but he wasn't mentioning it now.
Not that we had much time to talk anyway. The show was about to start, and some of the fans were eager to get their merchandise before then. They kept me busy even as Zed retreated backstage.
“Where's Allory tonight?” I asked Roger once the band started playing and the bulk of the fans left the merchandise table.
“Adrian's babysitting,” he said.
“Really?” I unscrewed a water bottle I'd brought with me and took a large gulp, feeling dehydrated. “I don't know how he handles that many kids.”
Roger shrugged. “I think he genuinely enjoys it. He's crazy like that.”
I laughed. “Like you don't enjoy spending time with your daughter.” Roger might pretend he wasn't into babies, but I'd caught him doting on his offspring too many times to believe the act.
“My kid's different,” he waved me off.
“Of course.” I drank the rest of the water. It washotin here.
Roger finished restocking the merchandise on the table from a few boxes we’d brought and then turned to look at me. “Why is my mate worried about you?”
The question hit me unprepared. What was I supposed to say? “Is he worried about me?”
Roger raised a single eyebrow at me. “C'mon. Cut the crap. Something's up.”
“I don't know why your mate worries,” I insisted. “Aren't you supposed to know through your mate bond or whatever?”
Roger shook his head. “It's not like I can read his mind. I know that he worries about you, but I don't know why. He's not telling me, and there's only one reason for that--you don't want him to.”
Crap. He was spot on. “Maybe I have a good reason not to tell anyone,” I tried.
Roger sighed. “You're not going to say a thing, are you?”
“Sorry.”
“Does Finn know?”
I bit my lower lip. At this point, I wasn't sure whether it was this impromptu interrogation that was making me sweat or the bad ventilation in this hall.
“I'm going to assume your silence means he doesn't,” Roger said. Since we didn't have any customers right now, he leaned back against the table while looking at me. At first, he seemed frustrated, but then he took a deep breath and smoothed his features. “Just tell me if you're going to be okay? My mate would hate it if anything happened to you.”
I guess this was Roger's roundabout way of expressing concern for me. It was kind of touching, really. And so what else could I say but, “it's going to be fine“?
Roger nodded, although he didn't seem wholly convinced. But then someone approached the table and he became busy again.
He didn't bring the topic up again for the rest of the night, although I couldn't quite shake it.
And that wasn't only because my hand was also slightly shaking.
Keep it together, Ryan.
It was going to be another hour or so until the band was done, and then I was going to have to handle another swath of fans before we could pack up here. I couldn't be sick tonight. Keeping this in mind, I refilled my water bottle and took a deep breath. At least, I wasn't coughing. It couldn't be that bad, then.
And it wasn't. Not until the show was over, anyway. It was when Roger and I got busy again and I had fans waving money in my face from all sides that I started to feel dizzy. It seemed like everyone was shouting, asking for my attention, and I couldn't get to them quickly enough.
That night wasn't my first time selling merchandise, but it was the first time the customers overwhelmed me. Roger bumped into me once or twice and nearly knocked me off balance each time. Something was wrong with me. I grabbed on to the table, feeling hot and cold at the same time as voices faded in and out around me.
“Ryan?”
Fuck. I turned to look at Roger, who shot me a concerned look. I probably wasn't looking great. I wasn'tfeelinggreat. In fact, I felt like I couldn't get enough air in my lungs, so I closed my eyes to focus on breathing. It was only then that I realized I was fainting. And as I felt consciousness slip out of my grasp, I really hoped Finn wouldn't see me this way.
