Page 34 of Fire
Winning even this much of a concession out of Jake made Toby feel equal parts sick relief, dread, and triumph. “Thank you,” he said, trying to put all the relief into his voice and none of the sudden trepidation.
Unexpectedly, Jake grinned. “Tiger, just wait until I find your sweet spot. Nowthatyou can thank me for.”
They did not fuck that Thursday. The following case was messy, involving way too many nosy locals, a flesh-eating plant, and a runaway haunted clown car.
When it was all over but the shouting (and a heck of a lot of paperwork for some unlucky bastard), Toby and Jake headed back to their motel several towns over. As soon as they shut their room door behind them, Toby pulled Jake close. He wasn’t thinking about that conversation when Jake had saidyes. He only wanted to taste Jake’s mouth, to feel his rapid breath against his lips, to feel his heartbeat under Toby’s fingers. But Jake met him with matching urgency, and they dragged each other to the bed, kicking off shoes and jeans, tugging off shirts. When they were down to nothing but underwear and warm skin, Jake pulled back.
“Toby,” he panted. He caught himself, took a careful breath and met Toby’s eyes. “Do you still want to go there?”
Toby blinked at him, confused. The last place he could remember saying he wanted to go was a Jefferson City taco place they had read about, but he had trouble believing Jake wanted to stop and drive there right this minute. “Where... ?”
Then Jake slid his hand lower until he was curving his fingers along the muscle of Toby’s ass, and Toby remembered.
The adrenaline rush that hit Toby then had nothing to do with the familiar heat of Jake’s body against his. It was his turn to take a shaky breath. Then he pushed a smile onto his face (not too wide, Jake would know if he was faking, but he probably wouldn’t mind if Toby wastryinginstead) and nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I do.”
“Right.” Jake pressed his forehead to Toby’s for a moment. “I got prep stuff last time we stopped for supplies, let me get that. Back in two seconds, Toby.” And then he was up and off the bed, and the suddenly empty space felt very cold against Toby’s bare chest.
Toby lay back, staring at the ceiling, breath coming fast, lips and body tingling. He heard Jake unzip the duffle. He wouldn’t look to see what Jake was getting.He didn’t know exactly what kind of prep Jake had been talking about, and he hadn’t wanted to ask. No matter what Jake said, Toby was still expecting the moment when Jake admitted what was necessary, what Tobyknewhad to be necessary. Or Jake would just do it because he didn’t want to hurt him, and at a certain point it would hurt more to know what was coming before it happened.Maybe Jake would bring soft restraints, so Toby wouldn’t be able to hurt either of them accidentally. Maybe some kind of drug so he wouldn’t be able to feel it. That could be what Jake meant and what reals usually got before sex. Toby hoped it had been what Jake had gotten, the times he’d... experienced this.
Then Jake was back, pressing his palm to Toby’s cheek, one thumb rubbing. “Hey, you with me?”
Toby nodded, swallowing, forcing himself to focus on Jake’s face. Jake looked more than a little nervous himself.
“No checking out on me, got that, Toby? We’ll stop this right now if that’s where you’re going.”
“No,” Toby said, hoping Jake didn’t hear the breathless panic starting to creep up.How am I going to get through this if I can’t blank out—“No, no, I’m here, really.”
“I mean it,” Jake said, with more warning. “You gottatalkto me, okay, Toby? You tell me you trust me, and I trust you too—I’m trusting you to tell me, tell me the truth, the second anything—you gotta talk to me every second of the way, okay?I wanna know howeverythingfeels, like running commentary, to do this right. That’s the rule, if we’re gonna do this.”
Toby closed his eyes, aware of everything spinning out of control under the surface—how could he possibly obey a rule like that? He couldn’t imagine lying to Jake, and they’d never get through this with Tobyspeaking—but he pushed that away.He trusted Jake.He did, in this just as much as everything else. “Okay.Got it.”
“Okay.”Jake paused, and Toby opened his eyes to see him drop his head to Toby’s bare stomach to land a wet, messy kiss right next to his bellybutton.Toby choked back a laugh as his body twitched in surprise, one hand flying to Jake’s hair in protest.“Jake?—”
Jake raised his head, smiling again. “C’mon, how does that feel?”
“Ittickles, jerk.” Jake blew a second loud, wet kiss on the other side of Toby’s stomach, and Toby squirmed, laughing out loud this time. “It’s wet and tickles and this isnotsexy.”
“Yeah?How about this?”Jake trailed his lips down Toby’s abdomen and over his waistband, mouthing a warm, moist line right over the bulge in Toby’s boxers.
Toby let out a shuddering gasp, hips jerking involuntarily upward. Jake caught them and continued nuzzling him where he could feel every breath. “Jake, oh shit?—”
“C’mon, Toby,” he said, not bothering to raise his mouth. “You gotta tell me how it feels.”
“Good—really, really fucking good, oh God, Jake, I can’t?—”
Jake sat up, and—just when Toby was about to pull himself together—Jake slid a hand into Toby’s boxers, touching him with just enough pressure to tease.
“Jake, are you trying tokillme—no, don’t stop, it feels good I love it just keep going?—”
Jake did, keeping up the slow stroke until Toby was rocking up into his hand each time and begging mindlessly. Right when Toby felt himself getting close, Jake stopped to tug Toby’s boxers the rest of the way off and then his own. He straddled Toby, a warm weight over Toby’s thighs, and picked up what he had taken out of his duffel. Toby blinked at it, too dazed with arousal to understand how a plastic tube about the size of a toothpaste container could have anything to do with sex. He felt hot and blurred and warm, and it was difficult to recall his trepidation about what was next, even when Jake popped off the cap and squeezed a clear gel onto his fingers. No knives, no restraints, no tools, and Toby was still on his back with his legs down, not on his stomach or on display. As always with Jake, this was like no sex that Toby had ever seen.
Jake leaned over him, close enough that his own body and erection rubbed against Toby’s, making him moan. “Still feel good, tiger?”
“Yes—yes, fuck yes.”
Jake touched his slick fingers to Toby’s chest, drawing two lines down to his bellybutton, then back up to circle his nipples. “Like that? How it feels?”
“Oh—oh, yeah. Yes.” Hedidlike it. Cool and wet, rapidly warming to body temperature, nothing unpleasant about it at all. Something was different about the intimate touch of Jake’s fingers covered in the slick substance, swiping across his chest and continuing to tease his nipples. Toby could do little besides react: moaning, arching, and trying to make the sort of sounds that meant Jake wouldn’t stop. All he could really manage to articulate wasyes, intermingled with swearing, but Jake seemed to understand.
