Page 15 of Fall From Grace
Since I can’t speak, I decide sit up and grab him, pull him up and over me as I lean back and bring my mouth to his. Kissing him took some getting used to; his lips are rough in the push and the pull, hard and unyielding. I’ve only ever kissed my ex, but if I had to choose… well, there’s something to be said about the unrepressed fire behind Logan’s kisses. Like he’s not afraid to get burned, nor is he afraid to burn everyone else around him.
Tonight? Tonight I want to burn. I need to burn, to forget.
Logan reacquaints himself with my mouth, and then he labors to pull himself away, rolling off me. With quick movements, he undoes the button and zipper on his pants, and soon enough he tugs them and what’s underneath down, revealing himself, before he goes into his nightstand and pulls out a small square of plastic.
A condom.
My heart constricts when I see it, and it tightens in my chest when I watch him tear at the corner of it with his teeth. He pulls it out and rolls it on, and then he’s on top of me once again.
I don’t stare at his dick. I can’t. I lock eyes with him as he reaches down between us and positions himself between my legs. For someone who wanted to be bad tonight, regret is already starting to swell in my belly. Those orgasms couldn’t push the guilt off forever.
I should stop this. I should stop him, shouldn’t I?
But… people hook up all the time. It doesn’t have to mean anything. We can do this and go our separate ways, and then I don’t have to keep putting so much pressure on sex.
The tip of his dick must press against my entrance, and I inhale deeply, my nerves too big to ignore. He must sense my anxiety, because he murmurs, “Relax.” He’s no one to me, so that simple command shouldn’t make me feel better… but it does. Strangely, it does.
My body relaxes itself, and just as I exhale he pushes himself inside of me.
And then it’s new. Then it sort of hurts. Not in a way that makes me full of pain, but more in an uncomfortable, I’m-not-used-to-this way. A pressure in my lower belly as he slides in inch after inch until I swear my body can’t take anymore—and then he pushes deeper and I feel him in my gut.
Oh. Oh, my.
I grip his sides, clinging to him to try to ground myself, that added bit of contact between us helping me to keep out of my head.
Just when I think I’m used to the feeling of his dick in me, his hips begin to thrust, dragging his cock out of me before pushing it back in. A slow rhythm at first, probably for me, but that slowness soon gives way to hard and fast. I can’t help but groan,and Logan responds by letting loose the most animalistic moan I’ve ever heard in my life, a sound that reverberates inside me and rattles me to my core.
“Fuck,” he mutters as he takes me, “it’s been too goddamned long.”
Too long since he had sex? I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, and I shouldn’t care. Idon’tcare. I’m using him, and he’s obviously all right with that.
I don’t know what I expect, but after a while, that uncomfortable feeling in my lower half fades away, and then it feels good. Then it’s a full feeling, one that’s easy to lose myself in. I close my eyes and surrender to it, to the stranger above me.
I have absolutely nothing and no one to compare him to, but I’m pretty sure he’s got stamina. It isn’t a ten pump and done kind of thing. No, he goes and goes until I swear I’m going to lose my mind, and then he goes some more. He goes so hard and so fast I actually come again—and this time the orgasm is different. This time there’s something for my inner core to clamp down on as my lower half spasms, and in doing so, he shudders above me.
His body jerks against mine, his cock filling me to the brink, and he lets out a low, gravelly moan. He pumps into me with a rapid-fire pace, and the way his movement changes, somehow I know it means he’s in the process of coming.
When he’s finished, he’s slow in pulling out of me, but before he does, he brushes his lips against my ear and whispers, “Don’t worry. We’re not finished being bad yet.”
I breathe harder at that, which he must notice.
Let’s just say he’s ravenous. He’s hungry, and tonight I’m on the menu. He’s no stranger to yanking off condoms and putting new ones on, and I don’t know how many we go through as he helps me learn new things about my body. What I like, what drives me mad, what gets me really worked up. He is a god in the sheets, and he shows off his prowess well into the night.
Eventually, like all things, it must come to an end, and the last time he rolls off me and yanks off the used condom, he falls into a sleep almost immediately. Seriously—his hard breathing steadies practically the moment his head hits the pillow beside mine.
How nice it must be to be able to fall asleep so fast. Me? I’m usually lying awake for at least an hour before I get drowsy enough to let sleep take me. My overthinking mind is probably to blame.
I don’t know how long I lay there, staring at his darkened ceiling, while listening to him sleep. It’s crazy to me to think that it was just another night for him while everything changed for me, and I can’t help but wonder just how badly I’m going to hate myself in the morning.
Probably a lot, but that’s a problem for future me.
I carefully sit up, doing my best not to make a bunch of extra movements as I crawl off the bed. In the darkness, I find my clothes on the floor, and then I tiptoe to the hallway. Only when I’m out of the bedroom do I hurriedly put on my clothes and check my phone for the time. A missed text from Sloane, telling me to let her know if I need a ride home or Elias to break a skull.
I’d laugh, but I know she’s serious.
I think about messaging her back and telling her I’m on my way home, but it’s four in the morning. She’s probably at home, asleep, either with Elias in her bed or in his bed. She’ll ask me about it tomorrow, and I’ll have to tell her.
I mean, I don’t have to, but at this point, as my roomie, she’s my only de facto friend. Dating Mike throughout all of high school meant I had less time for friendships, and I lost my best friend in this whole cheating thing, so the one person I’d talk to about tonight’s events is no longer in my life.
