Page 30 of Protecting Vidalia
She stared defiantly at him, her eyes huge in her pale face. She folded her arms over her chest in an unconscious desire to withdraw from him, if not physically, then mentally.
“Let me tell you what happened, since you aren’t willing to admit to it.” He had one long arm around her butt, his fingers holding the back of her jean’s waistband, and the other hand on her outside thigh. She wasn’t going to get away from him, and he knew she would try. “You zoned out again for the second time today. When the lightning hit, you went into that canyon with Dani Owens, didn’t you?”
Her face flushed. “It’s none of your business, Jake. I want you to leave.”
“That’s not happening either,” he replied, his eyes narrowing. “You can’t keep pretending this isn’t happening. These flashbacks are going to get worse if you don’t get some help.”
“What flashbacks,” she scoffed. “I was never in that canyon, so I can’t flash back to something that isn’t real. Maybe you have PTSD but I don’t.”
“It’s real in your mind,” he said simply. “Look, I’m no therapist, but I’ve seen one who deals with trauma victims and they have some interesting theories.”
“Ha! I’m not a victim.”
“Of course, you are,” he argued. “You’re as much a victim as Dani was because you blame yourself. And until you stop doing that, your mind is going to go with that and help you be a victim. What doctors know about the brain could fit on the head of a pin, as one specialist once told me. But the way you view things yourself can have a huge impact.”
“I’ll never stop blaming myself,” she echoed dully. “I should have been able to convince her to get to higher ground. I should have been more forceful, more calming, more...more...something. Anything to save her life. That little girl is dead, Jake, and it's my fault.”
Her dry-eyed, wild stare concerned him, she seemed so positive. “No, it wasn't your fault. The only one who thinks it was your fault isyou.” Jake ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated, and tried another tack. “Besides, how do you know she didn't try? Maybe she lost the cell phone connection while she was trying, but it was too late. “You aren’t God, Vidalia. You don't have all the answers, and you have to stop blaming yourself as if it was all cut and dried.”
“I know I'm not God, but...but...”
“Have you listened to the tapes?” He interrupted.
“Yes,” she yelled, “I’ve listened to them!”
“And can you think of anything you would have done differently?”
Her tense body slumped. “N-no... but...”
“Anyone can panic, and Dani was no exception,” he said gently. His hand moved up her back, caressing and soothing her tense muscles. “You have to forgive yourself and move on. Have you mourned for her? I mean cried and grieved for her loss?”
“Have I cried? No. But I grieve for her, every hour of every day and every nightmare that I come alive in. She haunts me and I can’t stop wishing I’d been there to save her in person. Ishouldhave saved her.”
The anguish in her green eyes was heartbreaking as Jake watched her finally talking.
“The storms bring it back even more. One of the things I wanted to do on this trip was to go Rangers Pass and see it for myself. Maybe even when it’s storming.”
Jake frowned. It sounded more like Vidalia was wallowing in and deepening her pain by thinking viewing the pass would make a difference. “There is no way you can recreate those circumstances, not without putting you in extreme danger. The flash floods that come through there are exactly what Dani got caught in.”
“Why do you think I came here at this time?” She argued. “Thunderstorms have been predicted all week this week. And you know as well as I do how they can come up suddenly.”
“What makes you think you can handle it when I just found you curled up on the rug?” He demanded incredulously. “And you zoned out earlier today, don’t bother denying it. You would get out there and PTSD would hit you and you’d be helpless!” His voice had risen an octave. “You can’t do it; I won’t allow it.”
“It’s not your right to tell me what I can’t do,” she yelled right back at him. “You’re not my boyfriend, or husband, or anything!”
“I’ll tell you what I am,” he gritted through his teeth and leaned into her face. “I’m a friend who cares about you, a man who wants to be your boyfriend, maybe even a husband down the road. That gives me some cred as far as I’m concerned, and with that cred comes the right to spank your stubborn little butt if I think you need it.”
She scrambled off his lap but he grabbed her wrist and held onto her while moving to the middle of the couch.
“Don’t you dare touch me,” she shrieked, clawing at the hand that held her.
“Oh, I’m going to touch you all right,” he replied, his other hand reaching up and unsnapping her jeans, then dragging them down partly over her hips. Then he yanked and she tumbled down and across his lap where he finished shoving her jeans down, along with her panties, to mid-thigh, revealing a nice target area. And then he sat fire to her ass.
Vidalia shrieked and yelled all sorts of obscenities with arms and legs flailing in every direction, as much as her legs could with the jeans holding them together. But Jake was through being mister patient guy. “There comes a time when talking just doesn’t get through to a stubborn brat,” he scolded. “I’ve been patient, I’ve been understanding, I’ve let you have things mostly your own way, but not this time. This ridiculous plan of yours isnotgoing to happen, not on my watch.”
After her bouncing butt cheeks were a nice cherry red, he paused and rested his palm on the hot, soft skin. She was crying now, whether it was for Dani or just because he was roasting her butt, he didn’t know. Either way, it couldn’t hurt. Tears were healing.
Stealing his heart against her sobs, he asked. “Are you listening to me, Vidalia Minton?” Her little fists were balled against the sofa cushion and her body was tense. With his left hand, he rubbed her back gently.
