Page 60 of Mara
“I hate you!”
I chuckled, hearing those sweet words again.
“Oh yes, that’s right.” I moaned. “ Hate, the strongest emotion you can feel for someone. How charming for you to feel so passionately about me. You knew the minute that I took you like the whore you are in that frozen yogurt shop, you fucking belong to me.Didn’t you, Nirvana?”
It was useless to struggle with this heavy asshole on top of me. I calculated the likelihood I would free myself, and my chances were slim. But I wasn’t going to sit here and allow him to fucking use that knife on me. I was not going to give up and bow down.
I had to find my sister. Jinx had this way of wrapping me up into another world filled with pain and so much pleasure. I couldn’t even begin to understand why his blood on me made me come so hard.
Had I worked in the asylum so long that I had become like my patients?
Jinx clearly belonged to Wellard. He was more unhinged than some of the individuals I cared for on a daily basis. In some ways, he was worse. There was a darkness to Jinx that wasgetting harder and harder to deny. I told Jinx I hated him, yet…he seemed to think that was a good thing.
“That’s not the strongest emotion you can feel for someone. Are you really so damaged that you don’t know that?”
My words made him pause, a flash of curiosity in his eyes.
“What are you driveling about? You aren’t stalling me, Nirvana. I am going to brand you.”
Brand me like a fucking cow to slaughter.
“Love…” I turned my face away from him, unable to stare at his bloody body.
“Love?” he repeated as if the word was a foreign one to him.
“Don’t you love my sister? Gianna? She loves you.”
Jinx didn’t answer. He busied himself by cleaning the knife’s edge with his tattered shirt.
I knew the truth. He didn’t love my sister. If he did, he would be searching for her, just as I should be.
If I were being honest, I didn’t know if Gigi was capable of loving him truly either. She liked him that much, which was obvious, but how much of that was linked to the fantastic sex and safety in her life?
I was justifying being a whore. That was all this was. I was trying to convince myself that I couldn’t keep getting into these situations with her boyfriend. I was wrong. This was wrong.
“Do you love anything, Mara?” he asked suddenly, and I paused, hesitant over the softness in his voice, the genuine curiosity. He sounded boyish, nothing like his usual masculine, chaotic sex appeal.
I thought about my answer, realizing it meant something to him. I loved my job, my patients, my sister…and the games I was forced to play with this psycho.
I cleared my throat.
“I love things that normal people do. Like my sister who’s missing.”
Jinx groaned and rolled off me, his earlier threat hanging in the balance as if he was bored with it now.
Did that mean he didn’t think I belonged to him?
Did I?
I shook my own head, trying to push those thoughts away. No, of course I didn’t.
He belonged to Gigi.
He was an insane man, but he was her insane man, and when we found her, she could get him help. It would help them grow closer as a couple.
The pang of anger and jealousy surprised me, making me shake in the cold mud.
“Do you love anything, Jenkins?”
