Page 49 of All in December
Relief and satisfaction hit me hard in the chest at his answers as I wash him. I’m careful with his skin, gentle now in all the places I’d been rough with earlier.
“Do you have an extra set of clean sheets I can grab?” I ask, kissing his shoulder.
“In the closet on the top shelf.”
“Stay in the hot water while I change the bed,” I tell him. “I want you warm.”
After I’ve dried off and tossed the sheets in the hamper, I spread out the clean ones and let him know the bed’s ready for him. He steps out of the bathroom, damp and flushed, with his cute-as-fuck glasses on. I wrap him in a fresh towel before pulling him toward the bed.
Once we’re under the covers, I drag him into my chest with his back pressed tight to me like we were always meant to fit this way. My fingers brush over his stomach, loving the feel of him tucked in close to me.
“I set my alarm for five thirty, does that work for you?”
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “I wish you could stay longer, but I know why we’re waiting. Sam usually doesn’t wake up until a few hours after that.”
There’s something in his voice that makes me want to promise I’ll never leave at all. But we’re still figuring this out, and as much as I feel that promise to be true, I can’t say it just yet.
“Perfect,” I murmur, pressing a kiss to the space behind his ear. “Thank you again for inviting me over tonight. I needed this. You.”
He hums, nuzzling into the pillow.
“There’s one more thing,” I add gently. “I have a work Christmas party this weekend, and I’d love you to come with me if you’re free. It’s Friday night at six, at a hotel downtown.We could stay over, make a night of it—or go for a few hours, whatever works for you.”
He shifts slightly to look at me, sleepy but touched. “I’d love to. Let me figure something out for Sam, but yeah… I’d really like that.”
I smile into his hair. “That sounds great.”
I might have an idea for who could watch Sam, but I don’t want to bring it up right now while he’s so happy and sleepy. He exhales and snuggles in closer until he’s fully tucked into my chest. I wrap my arm tighter around him, my thumb tracing small circles on his side.
Just like I have the last two times with him, I fall asleep knowing I’m exactly where I want to be and with the person I want to be with.
CHAPTER 21
Caleb
Ican’t remember the last time I felt this nervous.
Sam is in the backseat, chatting about what kind of snacks he hopes Benji’s mom has. I’m nodding along, but my brain is off doing its own thing. Because, yep, we’re going to Tess’s house—Nash’s ex-wife—so I can meet her, and Sam can sleep over with Benji and Emma.
This definitely wasn’t on my bingo card for this week, but Nash suggested that since Emma and Benji would be with her tonight, Sam should join for a sleepover while we go to his company Christmas party. He said he had already run it by her, and she was “cool with it.” I hate to admit I’m struggling to comprehend how they’rethiscool with each other, that it’s not a big deal that I’m dropping my son off at my maybe-boyfriend’s ex-wife’s house for a sleepover.
At that point, I couldn’t help myself; I had to ask Nash point-blank why they got divorced if they still get along so well.
He said they got married right after college and eventually realized what they had wasn’t romantic love anymore. Thatthey cared about each other, but more in a friend way than an “I can’t live without you” way, and that ultimately, they decided they each deserved more. It sounded like a completely amicable decision.
“We respected each other enough to let go so we could each figure out who we really were,” he told me.
I’ve been turning that over in my head since he said it because that kind of mutual, communicative, and understanding ending is so far from how my marriage ended. With my ex, it was passive-aggressive silences and hateful words. It was losing little pieces of myself over time until she decided she was done with me. She walked away, leaving me feeling confused and convinced that something was wrong with me. It still breaks my heart for Sam’s sake. Hating me is one thing, I can live with it, but to abandon Sam? I didn’t understand that and never have. He deserves so much better.
I’m glad Nash and his kids didn’t have to deal with that, and that he has someone so supportive, even after their divorce. Someone who gave him the freedom to further explore himself without shaming him.
We pull up at the address Nash sent me. It’s a white house with brick around the door and a covered porch. It’s a standard Denver house, and the normalcy makes me feel slightly better.
Sam unbuckles and opens the car door excitedly, running up the porch while I quickly text Nash that we’re here.
“Can I ring the doorbell?” Sam asks, looking back at me.
“Go for it.” I force a smile and try to channel even a fraction of his excited energy, but all I feel is anxious. I walk up to the porch with my hands jammed into my coat pockets, silently praying this won’t be weird.
