Page 38 of All in December
CHAPTER 17
Caleb
Nash keeps calling me baby, and it’s making me melt.
I don’t care if it’s a common pet name. It’s whathecallsmenow, and I want to be his baby.
For the first time in what feels like forever, I don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed for wanting to be wanted like this. At least, I’m trying really hard to keep those emotions at bay because I’m happy. Really happy.
The water is the perfect temperature as I step in, and Nash follows me. His hands find my shoulders and stay there, just holding me while the water rinses over both of us. He presses a kiss behind my ear before reaching for the shampoo. I assume he’ll hand me the bottle, but instead, he pours some into his own hand and starts washing my hair for me. He’s a couple of inches taller than me, and I shamelessly lean into it.
It’s hard not to think about how different this feels from my marriage. How much better.
When I asked my ex-wife for something I wanted—something I’d barely worked up the courage to say—she looked at me like what I’d said was disgusting instead of vulnerable.
I remember the pit in my stomach and the shame.
It made me feel like what I desired wasn’t safe to want or okay.
Until now.
Until Nash.
He makes me feel safe and seen and cared for in a way I’ve never experienced before.
His fingers scrub circles in my hair and it feels incredible.
“Still good?” he asks, checking in.
I nod, swallowing thickly. “Yeah. I’m really good.”
Nash’s thumb brushes across my jaw as he turns me to face him. “Good. That’s all I want for you.”
Maybe this is what trust feels like—a small moment with someone you care about where you don’t feel the need to keep your guard up, or feel like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop and bracing for impact. Where you can just be messy, vulnerable, and still figuring it out because your partner meets you with space instead of expectation.
Nash might not officially be my partner, but I really want him to be.
It already feels like he sees all of me, even the parts I was taught to tuck away. And instead of making me feel bad, he leans in.It’s so fast, but he makes me feel like I can trust him, like he won’t use my vulnerability against me or hold it hostage.
For fuck’s sake, he came on my face, and then helped lick me clean.
That’s not just trust. That’s something else entirely. Something rare and real and once-in-a-lifetime.
I already know that if things don’t work out between us, I’ll never want another person the way I want him.
We finish the shower, and when we step out, cum-free, Ialready feel different. More relaxed and more myself than ever before. And I feel like I have that thought after every single interaction with him.
Nash grabs my hand after checking to make sure none of the kids are lurking in the hallway, and he pulls me to our room with our towels wrapped around our waists. My face hurts from smiling at how fun sneaking around the cabin is with him.
How funeverythingis with him.
We get to the bedroom and close the door behind us. Nash drops his towel and starts pulling on a clean pair of boxer briefs from his bag.
“As much as I’d love to feel your bare ass against me tonight, we should probably put some clothes on, just in case. Sometimes Em gets scared and comes in during the middle of the night if we’re away from home.”
“Makes sense,” I say, pulling my own underwear out of my bag.
He crawls into bed and slides under the covers, lifting up my side for me to climb in. I do, and the minute I’m situated, he pulls me to him, spooning me, and we both just breathe for a second. My hand finds his, and I thread our fingers together between us.
