Page 15 of All in December
I exhale slowly, sinking deeper into his embrace, letting my body mold to his. The weight of his arm draped around me, the warmth of his chest against my back, makes me feel cared for. Safe. Maybe even adored.
No one’s ever held me like this, and I like it more than I should admit.
The fact that we met yesterday hasn’t evaded me, and yet nothing about this feels rushed.
I don’t know what this means for us, if there even is the potential for an “us” or if I’m just reading into something I shouldn’t be reading into at all.
But, for now, I embrace this for all it is, because if it is a one-night thing, I want to soak it in fully.
I must’ve fallen back asleepbecause the next thing I know, I’m being shaken awake.
“Dad, I’m hungry,” Sam cries, and reality smacks me in the face, It rips me from the peaceful, warm bubble I wanted to cocoon myself in earlier as panic takes over, because I’m in the room with my son… and Nash and I are still spooning.Shit.
“Mmmm, morning,” Nash breathes into my neck, and goosebumps break out across my skin. He’s not freaking out, or at least he doesn’t seem to be, as he slowly rolls over and untangles our bodies. The loss of him is immediate, and I wish I could ask him for five more greedy minutes. Or, ideally, skip the mountain altogether to stay snuggled up in bed.
“Dad?”
Right, right. Sam. There’s no way I’d ever be able to lie in bed all day with Nash. Not when we have kids—and mine just saw me cuddling with a man.
He knows there’s no right or wrong way to love. I’ve always made sure of that. I’ve taught him that families don’t all look the same, that what matters most is kindness, respect, and love. That people get to love who they love, and no one gets to decide what that looks like but them.
But I’ve never said anything about myself. Not because I was hiding some big truth. More like I wasn’t sure what that truth even was. I’ve always been a little unsure about my sexuality, and the one time I did try to ask for more to explore my desires, it backfired… badly.
So I convinced myself that maybe if I just focused on being a good dad, the rest wouldn’t matter.
But it does matter.
Because if I want Sam to grow up confident in who he is—whatever that looks like for him—I can’t keep hiding parts of myself. Not when there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s a conversation I’ll have with Sam soon when I figure out what to say.
“Yeah, we’ll get breakfast soon. Just let everyone get up and get ready,” I say to Sam. “Can you grab my glasses for me, bud?”
His little legs run around the bed to grab the glasses off the table, and he hands them to me.
“Thanks.”
Nash shifts with all the commotion and turns toward me. My insides suddenly feel all gooey just from looking at his disheveled brown hair and seeing his sleepy smile aimed right at me.
“How about we go get breakfast, then come back here to get our gear before heading to the mountain. That work?” he asks, making a plan.Another point for Nash.
“That works for me,” I confirm.
His hand reaches over, under the blankets, and gives my thigh a squeeze—and of course, my dick immediately perks up.
I bite the inside of my cheek, trying to play it cool, but I can feel the heat crawling up my neck. I’ve always blushed too easily, and Nash definitely notices.
He lets out a quiet laugh. “I’ll hop in the shower first,” he says, already sitting up. Then, with a quick glance back at me, grinning, he adds, “Give you a few minutes to… regroup.”
He disappears into the bathroom, and I run a hand over my face, still feeling the ghost of his fingers on my thigh. I use the few extra minutes to get my heart rate back to normal and talk my body down.
That is until Sam speaks.
“Dad, why were you and Benji’s dad cuddling?”
My heart lurches for an entirely different reason now.
“Oh,” I panic. “Uh…”
