Page 17 of Safer Together
As I hear his confession, it’s like the heavens have given me the most precious of gifts. He wants me, badly. Not only am I feeling as though I am on fire, but, in this moment, so is Elliot. “I know, I feel exactly the same way.”
He bends over, placing his head on his open palms, elbows placed on his knees, he is hiding his face from me, why? Embarrassment? Remorse? Oh, please god, no, don’t let it be remorse. I reach out tenderly, placing my hand on his hard, muscular bicep, which is flexed perfectly in the position he is in. Those strong arms just carried me from my front door to my bed, laid me down and… “I was so damn jealous tonight, Angie”. Well that’s a confession to set my train of thought completely off the rails.
Jealous, Elliot was jealous. My inner self is smiling, clapping, and cheering. But then I also feel terrible. Did I do something to make him jealous? Who was he jealous of? James? It had to be James.
“Tell me why you were jealous, Elliot.” Sitting up and bringing my legs up with me, I sit cross-legged on the edge of my bed, turning my body to face him completely.
“You left me with your work colleagues and ran after that James fellow. Then when I caught up with you, you were telling him you loved him. What was I supposed to think?” Ah, that confirms it. He did hear it.
“I do love James, like a big brother. I have never been on a date with him, Elliot. I just don’t feel that way about him. I never have.”
He looks into my eyes, his baby blues looked pained. “He loves you too, you know, not in the same way you say you love him though.” So, Elliot could tell that, all from one meeting. It really must be that obvious. As always, I decide that honesty is the best policy.
“I know he does.” I pause. There is no change in Elliot’s expression. I reach out and take both of Elliot’s hands in my own. “You have absolutely no reason to be jealous, baby, I am here with you. I am yours.” As I say the last word, I squeeze his hands. “I was jealous tonight too, you know?” no response, beside the lifting of one of his eyebrows “I hated the ladies from work flirting with you, that’s why I told you that you are mine. I’m sorry if that was too much.”
Elliot shakes his head, slowly from side to side. “It wasn’t too much at all. I’m glad that you told me that I am yours, Angie, I love this possessive side of you, because I am the exact same way. When I say you are mine, I damn well mean it. You’re mine and mine alone” I let a small smile form on my lips.
“I found it so hard not to kiss you like that in front of James. To show him that you are with me.” I lift one of my hands and place it under his chin and along his jawline, pulling him closer to me I kiss him once, then pull away. “The way we were just kissing when we got home isn’t for public viewing, Elliot.”
I wait for a response, he opens his mouth and then closes it, deciding against saying something. “Go on, say it, whatever it is” I encourage, still nothing. I sit there, waiting, hoping he will tell me what he is thinking. When his mouth stays tightly shut, I make an effort to stand. He doesn’t let me, pulling me back into place.
“Angie, please don’t be frightened about what I am about to say, but I need you to hear this though, so you know what it is I’m feeling” I remain silent, awaiting his confession. “I want to do that again and so much more. I want to do that all the damn time. Every time I see you, it’s what you do to me.”
Well, that is something that I wasn’t expecting. I thought I was the only one who felt that way when I was in his presence. “Angie, are you okay?”
I nod. “I’m fine. You didn’t frighten me. I know what you mean, I’m so attracted to you Elliot, when we kiss, I find it hard to stop.”
And with that, I launch myself at him, pushing him back onto the bed and kissing him with everything I have. I run my hands up his chest, feeling the plains of his muscle’s underneath me. His hands come up and he wraps them around my waist, flipping me onto my back like I’m a pillow. He places his forehead to mine as he breaks the kiss, “Angie” his voice is heavy, throaty, I can hear frustration in his voice, mixed in with something else, “you’re making it impossible for me to keep my hands off you.”
I smile at him. “I’m sorry Elliot, I just can’t help myself”.
I reach my arms around his neck and try to pull his lips back down to my own, he doesn’t budge, he doesn’t pull away, though, either. I am trapped under this man, his hot body pressed against my own. I feel his member hard against my thigh. He really is trying hard to stop this. I feel bad, we both are waiting for marriage. I think of an excuse to leave the room, coming up with the perfect one. Embarrassing but perfect.
“Ah, Elliot, I need to go to the bathroom.” He slides from on top of me onto the mattress beside me and I stand, padding across to the bathroom, closing the door behind me.
Looking at myself in the mirror, my eyes look wild, my hair is all over the place. The woman staring back at me tells the story. She looks as though she has been rolling around in bed with a man in a moment of passion, and passion that was. I feel so incredibly hot right now, I feel all warm and fuzzy, down below. What Elliot does to me is unbelievable, making me feel things I have never felt before, making me question my decision to wait. Why wait, when I can be having so much fun with him out there, right now?
But it’s not only me I need to think about. Elliot is of the same opinion. I can’t corrupt him like that, and after only a couple of weeks of dating. Slow down, Angela, it’s the hormones talking. Just give it a moment to settle down.
I turn on the faucet and rinse my hands under the cold water, splashing some across my face. Turning the water off, I place my palms down on the basin. Looking down at them, I think long and hard about my next decision. I need to go out there and keep my hands off his beautiful, hard, muscular body.
Knock, knock. “Angie, do I need to send in a search party?” I jump at Elliot’s knock, not expecting it. I cross over to the door and unlock it, opening it. There he is looking at me. I drop my eyes from his face to his body. He isn’t wearing a shirt anymore, and he is in pajama pants, with his feet bare. What was I just telling myself about keeping my hands off him? Jesus, he is making this hard.
I groan out loud, raising my eyes again to be level with his. “You know you’re making it incredibly hard for me to keep my hands to myself, don’t you?”
He grins at me, confirming that he knows exactly what he is doing, he then steps aside. I quickly pass him. “I’m going to use the bathroom” and with that he closes the bathroom door.
I throw open the top drawer of my chest of drawers pulling out my satin nightgown. I pull the dress over my head and remove my bra, slipping the nightgown over the top, just as I am removing my stockings, the bathroom door opens, Elliot exits, walking past me towards the bed. He starts to remove the many decorative pillows from the top, tossing them to the side. I walk around to the opposite side of the bed, pulling the bedcovers back.
We lie down next to each other, not touching, pulling the sheet and then the duvet over ourselves. I place my hand down on the mattress, palm up, hoping Elliot will take it. He does, our fingers link with each other and we hold hands, his thumb running along the side of my palm. That same electrical spark from only moments earlier starts in my most private area, a flush of warmth letting me know how affected it is by his touch, I cross my legs, willing it to stay where it is and not spread over my entire body.
“Good night, Elliot,” I whisper.
He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze, “Good night, Angela”.
I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of Elliot’s skin on my own. I stay quiet and will myself to go to sleep, I hear Elliot’s breath steady into a slow rhythm, until soft snores take over.
The last thought in my mind are my parents, and even though Elliot hadn’t asked any further about them this evening, he would. And more than likely in the near future, and I would have to tell him about them, about everything. It surprises me that I don’t feel worried or scared; instead a calm washes over me.
I relax and allow myself to fall into a deep sleep.
