Page 26 of The Wondrous Life and Loves of Nella Carter
I wasn’t sure what to think. My experiences had only been ones I wanted to erase from my memory, and I’d lost Mama before it was time for those kinds of questions.
I nodded, trying to keep my smile from wobbling. “I’ll refresh myself.”
“Jenny will come for you when the meal is ready.” He brushed a kiss against my temple and left, and his footsteps ebbed away. I sank onto the goose-down bed, listening to the steady ring of William’s hammer and the twitters and squawks of Milly downstairs. I stared into the ceiling, my mind toggling through all that had transpired up until now.
I’d come a long way from when I’d arrived in Nouvelle-Orléans from Georgia, yet I was still in pursuit of Silas’s whereabouts. I had amassed a bit of money. Enough, I hoped, to buy his freedom when he was found. Jacques had been managing my accounts, and they were growing every month. His name, I reasoned, would open doors to places and information that had previously been closed to me.
And here I was, in Jacques’s house—my house. We’d signed the papers that very morning, with Eulalie and Eugène as witnesses. Jacques would provide for me should something happen, improving my financial situation and caring for any offspring we might have.
I couldn’t tell him there would be no children because of my bargain. Death hadn’t said anything about relationships when he’d left me in that cabin. He hadn’t said anything since the day he’d saved my life; he hadn’t yet come to visit me again.
A knock at the door in our new home startled me from my reverie. Jenny stood in the hall, brushing her hands on her skirts. “Miss Noelle, dinner is ready.”
I nodded, rising from the bed, breathing deeply, knowing what would come. Would I like it? Would it be what I’d hoped for?
I followed her, slowly descending the stairs.
Though dinner was delicious—stewed rice, sausage, and greens tastefully seasoned—I left half of it in the bowl, my stomach fluttering.
All too soon, the church bells tolled, naming the hour when Jacques rose, hand extended. We didn’t speak as he led me up the stairs.
“I do hope you’re happy here. Now that I have you, I feel my life is complete.” He sprang forward as if released, his lips capturing mine.
I tried to focus on the moment, but his hands, now loosed, were everywhere—on my back, on my stays, running up my spine, the sensations overwhelming. I wanted to slow things down and ease into each other, but it was as if he were dying of thirst, and I was the first glass of water he’d sipped in weeks.
He moaned and murmured against my neck.
Beautiful.
Exquisite.
Gorgeous.
The depth of his desire left me spinning. I tried to lose myself in his affection. Being with Jacques would be new and different because he cared for me.
With a few swift movements, my dress pooled on the floor at our feet. I kissed him soundly, willing myself to surrender to the moment. His stare felt like being worshipped in the dim candlelight as he dragged me on top of him. We rolled in the bed, his hands roaming again.
He took my breast gently between his teeth, and I gasped at the new sensation. He trailed kisses along my neck, nuzzling under my ear. He was a man possessed, his fingers digging into my hips. He ground himself against me. His member, swollen through his breeches, pressed into my belly. He reached down between us, adjusting himself between my thighs, and thrust forward. I couldn’t breathe, startled by the foreign sensation.
He shouted almost immediately, “Noelle, my love. I adore you.”
I held on to his shoulders, my voice trapped in my chest, as he groaned, then collapsed beside me.
He pulled me close, clutching me to his chest. My heart raced, my core aching, a yearning still there in the hollowness.
Was this love?
And lovemaking?
Was this what husband and wife did?
I supposed it would be fine.
After all, it was the cost of this new life.
Seven
Life in the house soon grew to be routine. A tap would come on my shoulder each night, and Jacques would draw me close, kissing the spot below my ear. Each time allowed me to sink deep into a life with him and away from the memories of where I’d been.
