Page 65 of The Promise Of Rain
“I can and I will,” I promised.No need to tell her I’d already had it out with my parents.Twice.
My brothers trusted my judgement, but if push came to shove, they’d side with my parents.Their livelihood was tied up with the farm, and they’d never allow their children to miss out on their grandparents.
“I’m scared,” she whispered.“I finally got to a place where I could breathe.”
“Baby, I’ve been watching,” I countered quietly.“You barely have a pulse.”
She glared at me.“I have Ansel.Maggie and Maxine visit on Saturdays.And, and,” she sputtered.“I have my own business!”
“Where’s your joy?”I challenged.“Where’s your passion?What makes you come alive?”
“I came alive once!”she screamed, her face turning brick red.“And you left me!”
“I’m.Not.Leaving,” I gritted out.“Take a fucking chance, Jenny.”
She dropped her head back on the head rest and shook her head back and forth.
Right in front of me, she crumpled.“You’re going to leave me,” she cried.“You will, Deacon.”
“I’m not,” I declared, my stomach pitching as I reached for her seatbelt buckle.
“You will,” she sobbed.“You promised the same thing back then and look what happened.”
Hauling her across the seat, I settled her on my lap and tucked her head under my chin.My hands shook because she wasn’t wrong.
How could I make her understand I’d changed?That I wanted her above all else?
She curled into me and fisted her hand in my coat.Her breath shuddered in and out of her like the half-tanked motor of an old car.
My heart rampaged in my chest, but I took a deep breath and pressed my mouth to her forehead.“I’m not going to leave you.You let me in, you’ll never get rid of me again.I swear to God.”
She scoffed then sputtered, “How can you say that?”
“Eleven years, Jenny,” I gritted out, “and I’m no closer to moving on.One look at you and I was right back where we left off.Finding out the truth?”I shook my head.I was not a man of pretty words but of action.I’d have to find a way to show her.“I want you.I want us.”
Her grip loosened and she smoothed her palm over my chest.“Even if there are things I don’t want to talk about?”
I needed to be careful here for both of us.“If I have this straight, there’s a secret that has nothing to do with us, but you feel might come between us?”
She nodded.
“And there are things in your past that you don’t want to talk about?”
Her nod that time was jerky and short.
I tightened my arms around her and sighed.“I can live with that, but I look forward to the day you trust me enough to tell me everything.You think that day might come?”
She stilled then slowly nodded once more.“I think so.”
I pressed my mouth to the top of her silky head.“I can’t ask for more than that right now.”
She shivered in my arms.
“I’ll take you home.Think you can invite me in to watch one of those sappy movies you love?”
She pushed off my chest and covered her face with her hands.Sucking in a deep breath, she seemed to settle.Wiping the tears from her cheeks, she mumbled, “Yeah.I can do that.”
I stopped her with a hand cupped around the back of her neck as she shifted to move back to her side.
