Page 46 of The Promise Of Rain
I shook my head and grabbed the box of cookies.Slamming the door, I pushed my wind-whipped hair away from my face and stomped across the parking lot.I faced off against the bitterness of the wind and braced myself to perform the best acting job of my life.
I just had to get through the next hour.
I was almost at the door when his big hand wrapped around my elbow and jerked me to a stop.
He turned me to face him and frowned down at me.“With all my being, I regret all of them.”
I winced and rubbed my palm over my chest.
“Fuck,” he rumbled.“Jenny, look at me."
I couldn’t.
Looking up at his starkly handsome face only reminded me of the boy I loved, the way his face tightened when he emptied inside me, how he tucked his face into my neck and groaned when he came, a memory I now shared with countless other women.
They knew him in a way only I should.
I covered my mouth with my palm and squeezed my eyes shut.My body shook as the cold outside made its way inside my bones.
“They didn’t mean anything—"
My head snapped up, and I gave him my eyes, letting him in the way he swore he wanted, letting him see what he’d done to me.“Shall I tell you what they mean to me?”I asked softly.
He stared back at me, his face stricken.
Disgusted with both of us, I turned my face away.“I didn’t sign up for any of this.”
“Of course not,” he murmured.“We can get past this.”
A silent scream; the one I refused to voice, erupted so violently in my head it was a wonder he couldn’t hear it.
You left me!
I covered my eyes with my mittened hand as if I could block out what stemmed from within.
I trusted you, and you left!
They hurt me, and you left!
I lost everything, and you left!
I let myself need you, and you left.
Disbelief and accusation.Shock and disillusion.Abandonment and grief.
And over all of it, the sour stench of bitterness.
I couldn’t blame him for leaving, not with what happened, but I refused to excuse him.
He wasn’t the villain, but he wasn’t a hero either.
No amount of logic could mend what was broken.The heart wasn’t made to be logical.
But I could be.
I dropped my hand, took a breath, and denied him as I turned to walk away.“There’s too much hurt between us.Let’s just get through this visit and then I think it’s best we go our separate ways.”
“You can’t mean that,” he growled.
