Page 44 of The Promise Of Rain
Whipping to face him, I exclaimed, “That’s not what I said!”
Pulling out onto the street, he stated, “We’ve established you want to be with me, and you don’t want to talk about the past.What’s left other than to move forward?”
“As friends,” I stated, mentally kicking myself as soon as the words left my mouth.
He scoffed.“Really, Jenny?You can be friends with me?You going to join me and the wife for Christmas?Maybe be in our wedding party?”
“Well, I wasn’t invited last time, why should this time be any different?”
I bit my lip hard, the taste of copper doing its utmost to distract me from the agony in my heart.I cursed myself for being all kinds of a fool.After agreeing to leave the past in the past, I turned around and threw it in his face.
“I’m sorry,” he stated softly.“I’ve only ever loved you.”
“Oh, yeah?And how did your wife feel about that?”I snapped, angry with myself for revealing the wound.
“Pretty fucking strongly considering she divorced me,” he retorted.
“I shouldn’t have married anyone,” he continued.“I shouldn’t have been with anyone but you, period.”
“You can do whatever you want,” I sniped, then took a deep, bracing breath.
This was not who I was.Nor was it who I wanted to become.
My breath hitched in my throat.
I wasn’t bitter or angry or forgotten.
I swallowed the pain from the past.
I wasn’t that woman who waited and pleaded and begged.
I made a life for myself, one where I didn’t have to fight and claw and scream for peace.
A life where I didn’t care if it rained.
Steadying myself, I continued, my voice soft and controlled once more.“I had no claim on you.”
“That’s where you’re wrong, baby.You’ve always had a claim on me, and I was an asshole to think I could ever replace you.”He pulled up to a red light and faced me.“I couldn’t then, and I can’t now.”
I stared steadfastly out the front windshield.
“I don’t want to.”
Tears welled in my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.
“Jenny,” he murmured as he reached out a hand and brushed the backs of his fingers over my cheek.“Iamsorry.”
I closed my eyes at his touch, weakening by the minute.But I wouldn’t go down without a fight.
Without looking at him, I muttered, “I’m sure she wasn’t the first.”
The jerk of his fingers confirmed what I already knew.
I turned my face away, sickened at the thought of him with another woman.
How long did he wait before he slipped between someone else’s thighs?
Bile rose in my throat.
