Page 8 of Resilient Rhythms
Even though I was hurting, I couldn’t get out of my own way long enough to understand that Maverick was drowning right beside me. And I hate that, deep down, I question myself for not throwing him a lifeline when all he’s done is try to save me. Repeatedly.
MAV — FIFTY-ONE DAYS POST MCKENNA
I spend the remainder of my time in Costa Rica building healthy habits. Surfing, sunbathing, and writing song lyrics. I hit thegym daily, run on the beach, and sip my tea under the stars each evening.
I dream about the beautiful and talented woman I lost. I grieve the end of our relationship and all the ways I fucked it up. I talk to my therapist weekly.
While I check in with my brother, Reign, and Levi, I keep our conversations light. There’s no need to dig into shit when I’ll be home soon. We can have those conversations—the tough, painful ones—in person.
The only person I talk to and truly confide in is my mother. If there’s one person on the planet who can listen and not judge, it’s her. Mom’s ability to simultaneously hold grief and grace is unparalleled, and I’m grateful that I can lean on her.
On the morning of my return flight, I receive a text message from Allegra.
It’s an image of a ticket to Mckenna’s law school graduation.
I snort. Of course I’ll fucking be there. I wouldn’t miss watching her walk across that stage for the world.
Not that she’ll ever know. No one will.
Instead of replying, I keep Allegra on read and head to the airport.
TWO
MCKENNA
“You look beautiful.”My father’s smile is warm, his eyes bright with pride, as he tugs on the sleeve of my graduation gown.
“Thank you, Dad.” I wrap my arms around him, relishing the hug.
This past year may have been a shit show of epic proportions but one thing I am grateful for is the relationship Dad and I mended. Especially since my mother couldn’t be bothered to attend my graduation today. Instead, she’s in Aruba, taking advantage of the off-season where there’re fewer crowds and shorter wait times at the restaurants she likes to frequent.
“Let me get a photo of you two together,” Allegra says.
I look up and smile, keeping my arms around Dad, as Allegra lifts her cell phone.
“You did it, Kenny!” Ivy squeals, entering the brownstone with a bouquet of flowers.
“You’re here!” I gasp, surprised to see her.
“Of course we’re here.” Nova steps into the space behind Ivy, struggling to pull in the stroller for her daughter, Stella.
“I got it,” comes the rumbly voice of her husband, West.
He appears a moment later, wrapping a hand around the stroller’s push bar, his other arm cradling Stella.
“Thanks.” Nova grins, walking closer to throw her arms around me. “I’m so proud of you.”
“I’m so happy you’re here.” I hug her back.
“Are you kidding? We couldn’t miss this,” she says, squeezing me tightly.
Derek and West exchange hellos. Allegra passes her phone to Dad who gestures toward my friends to gather closer.
I never thought I’d get to this day. Finally, I’m graduating law school. Final exams, Bran, the trauma of this campus—it’s all in my rearview now.
Except, my heart rate stutters, and I realize I’m not ready to move on from Mav. Will I ever be?
“Smile,” Dad says.
