Page 38 of Resilient Rhythms
“Thanks.”
“Also, I wanted to ask you, how’s Jameson doing? He seems good at bowling, but is he moving on from Amelia?”
“He’s okay. I think so. We’ve been running in the mornings, which helps set the tone for his day. He’s not drinking as much and is spending more time in the studio with Reign. Amelia moving out of the city has been good for him.”
“Where did she move to?”
“Colorado,” I offer, leaning back in my seat. “She met someone.”
“Ohh.” Mckenna wrinkles her nose. “Is Jameson okay? Does he know?”
“He knows.” I blow out a sigh. “And he’s handling it. Better than I thought, to be honest. But, given the history, the years, between them, it’s been hard.”
“Of course.”
“And I think it’s time I tell him the truth about Big Jim.” I heave a forkful of lasagna into my mouth, swearing as the melted cheese burns the roof of my mouth.
Mckenna nudges my water glass closer and I take a swig.
“Thanks,” I manage to say.
“Do you think it’s the best time to tell him that you guys don’t share a biological father?”
“I don’t know. Is there ever a good time? I don’t want to pile on too much shitty news, but at the same time, I think he should know the truth. And if he’s going to start rebuilding his life and changing his outlook about the future, I don’t want him to get to a good place and then it feels like I drop a bomb on him and everything he rebuilt.”
“Yeah. I get that.”
“If it was you?—”
“I’d want to know.” She cuts me off. “That’s the only thing I know for certain from all this shit with Bran. It’s been awful. An absolute nightmare. But so many things make sense now that I know the truth. Things I second-guessed myself on, things I felt uncertain about…a lot of pieces clicked into place once I knew what happened between Bran and me, and what happened between my dad and Isabel. Dad didn’t want to tell me right away. I know he was nervous because I had so much going on, like Jameson, but honestly, having all the information made me feel better.”
“Yeah. For Jameson, it may even be pieces he isn’t fully aware of but once he knows…well, I think it will help put someaspects of our childhood, of Big Jim’s relationship with each of us, in perspective.”
“What does your mom think?”
“You know, it’s funny, my mom didn’t want us to know the truth for so long. She was scared that if we knew, it would add distance between Jameson and me. But he’s my brother no matter what, and now that we’re adults, and in the band together, she knows that too. I told her I was going to tell him and she said to do whatever I think is best. My mom’s been out of Boston and our day-to-day lives for a long time. She isn’t really in the position to weigh in.”
“She sounds very open-minded.”
“She’s a free spirit.”
Mckenna smiles. “A bit like you.”
I consider her observation before nodding slowly. I never thought about it before. I always knew I didn’t want to be Big Jim, and for years, I feared that I was. But the truth is, I’m more like my mom and that realization is freeing in a way. “Yeah, I guess so.”
Mckenna eats another bite of lasagna. “I’m more like my dad even though I didn’t want to admit it for years. I was trying like hell tonotbe like my mom that…”
“You couldn’t see the good qualities you shared with either parent.”
“Exactly.”
“We’re more alike than not, Mckenna.”
“I know that, Mav. I didn’t want to admit that either.” She laughs. “In many ways, you saved me.”
I snort, ducking my head. “Not like how you saved me, beauty. Not even close.”
I dry the last dish, placing it in the overhead cabinet, and close the cabinet door. I love these quiet nights with Mckenna, when things between us feel easy and natural. When I truly feel at home.
