Page 16 of Resilient Rhythms
“Good. You were beautiful. I wasn’t sure if I was going to say hello, but then when I saw you…” He trails off before shifting his weight. “But I really came back for my brother.”
“Jameson?” I can’t hide the surprise from my tone. Fortunately, I can hide the way Mav’s truth twists my stomach in knots. Disappointment sticks to my ribs and I twist my torso, as if to dislodge it.
Of course he’s not here for me. I already knew that. Logically.
And yet, I hate how much I want him to declare that he’s here to win me back. To fight for me. For us.
“He and Amelia broke up.”
I push my feelings aside to focus on Mav. “Allegra told me that happens a lot.”
Mav snorts. “It does but…I think it’s different this time.”
I pause at the catch in his tone. “Are you going to tell him about your dad?”
He rears back, as if forgetting that he once told me the truth about him and Jameson not sharing a biological father. “Eventually. But I think he needs me right now so…”
“You’re back.”
“I am. And you’re…?”
I chuckle. “Here for now.”
He frowns. “Do you really want to move to California?”
I shrug. “I loved my time at UCLA.”
“Right.”
“But I never considered it as much as I have these past few weeks.” I bite my bottom lip, willing myself to be honest with him. “There’s nothing here for me anymore, Mav.”
He works a swallow, his expression severe.
“I came back to Boston for law school. And now, I’ve graduated and…” I shrug. “Nova lives in Tennessee. Allegra and Derek are between here and California, but they’re spending more time out west these days. Ivy’s accepted a job in upstate New York.”
“I’m here, Mckenna.”
“You’re my ex-husband.”
He hangs his head and swears softly. Lifting his face, he asks the question I desire but am too damn scared to trust. “What if I wasn’t?”
I flinch at the rawness of his expression. A lump grows in my throat and I swallow against it. “But you are.”
“I know that, and I can’t fucking stand it.”
“Why didn’t you fight for me? For us?” I ask the question that has kept me up at night for months.
“I tried.” His voice cracks. “I tried and in doing so…I fucking terrorized you. I’ll never forget the way you looked at me when I walked into that hospital room. By trying to protect you, I put you through even more pain. It was selfish.”
“Why didn’t you just talk to me?”
“I was scared of losing you. I was fucking terrified of you regressing into a shell of the woman you are. Of not eating or speaking or…I thought I was helping.”
“I know that your heart was in the right place.”
“It wasn’t enough.”
“But what if it is…now?” I toss out, desperate to be his again. To believe in us. To fight for what we once shared because I know I’ll never find it again. Not without Mav.
