Page 91 of The Harborer
He paused to catch his breath. Amy lowered her hand and stroked his chest, her touch light and reassuring. When Shane next spoke, his voice came out in a choke, and the tears building behind his eyes threatened to spill. “My mom had one made for him that was a one-off. All of those details lead me back to this: What if there was no accident, no murder, no other woman waiting? What if Dad decided to off himself by wandering off into the wilderness with his favorite bottle, just like he’d described to us boys? The day he left, the weather was brutal. He might have survived one night with the right gear, but since he didn’t take that with him ...
“And there’s another detail I didn’t pay attention to back then. Something I never told Mom or my brothers because I was up to no good. I went to raid Dad’s liquor cabinet about six months after he took off. I figured why not? It was just Mom and me. She didn’t drink the stuff, and I wanted to party with my friends. I saw no reason to let it go to waste. But when I opened the cabinet, the bottle was gone. Nothing else had been touched.” A shiver ran through him.
Amy pulled away once more, cradling his face in her hands. “Do youwantto know if it’s him?” Her big eyes mined his, and the tears he’d been holding back pooled and spilled down his cheeks. He couldn’t stop them.
“I don’t know,” he said in a hush.
To this day, he couldn’t help but question what he could have done differently. What heshouldhave done. What he had overlooked. How he had failed. If he didn’t know whether the remains belonged to his father, he wouldn’t have to answer the questions that haunted him.
“Shane, you’re not blaming yourself for your father’s disappearance, are you?”
“Hard not to,” he admitted.
She pulled him to her, murmuring, “No. No, no, no. This washisdecision. This isnotyour fault in any way, shape, or form.”
He had never grieved his father’s disappearance, and now he choked back a sob.
“Let it go, my darling,” she soothed. “Let it go.”
To his horror, he did. He had never mourned his father, but now he tightened his hold on her and buried his head in that sweet spot between her neck and shoulder. She rocked him like a little baby while he cried. She whispered things like, “Your heart is so good,” and “My Shane,” and “Sweet, sweet man,” and finally, “Your father would be proud.”
Despite his ridiculously emotional outburst, he couldn’t help but smile a little at “My Shane.” He liked belonging to her.
When he was wrung dry, he dared to lift his head, and she kissed the tears on his cheeks. She kissed his eyes, his jaw, his mouth, the whole time whispering that she loved him.
He sat back and released a breath laden with the burden of the past, feeling as though he might float to the ceiling like a helium balloon. Amy pivoted her body and dropped her knees on either side of his thighs, facing him as she straddled his lap. She still cupped his face, and she looked at him with something akin to wonder and love so powerful it banded his heart. That heart was all hers now, and he trusted her to hold it forever in her small hands.
This.
This is what his buddies had found with their “one.” This is what it felt like to be crazy in love.
His hands found her waist beneath her sweater and held on.
She gave him a soft smile. “I’d like to say one more thing.” He nodded. “If your father wanted to go out on his own terms and not burden his family, he did it because he loved you. He wanted to make amends for past transgressions. But he never realized he was, in fact, leaving behind a boulder that you’ve been bench-pressing for years. Whether the remains turn out to be his or not, give yourself grace and understand there was nothing you could have done that would have brought a different result.”
“I love you, Barista Amy.”
“And I love you, Deputy Shane.” She rested her forehead against his. “I wish we would have figured it out sooner.”
He drew in a deep breath. “Then let’s not waste any more time. Each of us has time off we didn’t expect to have, so let’s use it before we lose it. I know you’re not comfortable with us being together right away, but the whole damn town—the very people you’re worried about—seem to believe we’re late to the game and that it should have happened a long time ago. You wouldn’t want them all feeling like they got it wrong, would you? Think of the guilt trip every time someone walks in to get a cuppa.” He nipped at her lips. “How am I doing with my sales job?”
She fizzed with laughter.
“I’ll take that as a thumbs-up.” Encouraged, he ran on. “I love you, and I want to marry you.”
Her eyes popped wide, but the smile held. He hadn’t scared her off.
More words he couldn’t stopper poured from him. “I want to walk around this town holding your hand so everyone knows you’re mine. I want to work in your store and have you boss me around and kiss me in your office. I want to have children with you, little dark-haired Amys and brown-haired Shanes. They can all be dark-haired or blond or green for all I care.” He paused for breath. “I know that’s a lot, but I have loved you for such a long time that it’s been building up inside me. We don’t have to get married, but move in with me or let me move in with you. Or let’s find a different place with more room to spread out. This is the perfect time.”
“Hmm … I thought you wanted to take a job somewhere else, move on to bigger and better things. Get in some more action. Get away from the sheriff. I’m not planning to close my shop, so how would that work?”
“I know I’ve groused about him, but Chesterton isn’t a bad boss,” Shane admitted, “and his priorities are in the right place when it comes to his job. He just goes a little nuts around election time.” This would be the sheriff’s fifth term, and whilethe guy could be an asshole of epic proportions as the politicking took over his life, the election would be over in a few weeks. They’d go back to normal for another four years. Shane could suck it up that long.
“As for the other stuff I was bitching about,” he continued, “I think there’s more action in Fall River than I realized. There’s trouble out there, and I want to help protect this town from it. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m as qualified as anyone else to do the job. And do it well.”
“I agree with that, and I’m glad to see you finally realize your worth to our town, Deputy. Besides, who would handle Mrs. Danvers with the same care you do?”
“That is averycompelling reason to stick around,” he chortled. “But staying here with you is the best reason of all.” He traced the side of her face with his fingertip. “Councilwoman Caufield, you’re a savvy businesswoman. What do you say we merge?”
