“By all means,” I say sarcastically. “Please explain to me how a blowjobisn’ta blowjob.”
He glares at me, his eyes so dark they appear black in the dim light of the backseat.
I return his glare, crossing my arms expectantly.
“Before you came into my life,” he begins in a tight voice, “I was so consumed with work that I rarely spent any time at home. Mrs. Calder handled my household affairs, so I had very limited contact with Brynn. But I’m not dumb or blind. I know when a woman’s trying to seduce me, so I noticed all the little things Brynn did to get my attention. Like shortening the hem of her uniform dress, loosening extra buttons to show off her cleavage, sashaying past my office in skimpy workout clothes. Hell, she even dyed her hair blond to look like my fiancée. I almost didn’t recognize her tonight because she went back to her natural color,” he growls in annoyance, shoving a hand through his own hair before continuing, “She was sneaky and calculating. She knew how to walk close to the line without crossing it.” He pauses. “Until that night.”
My pulse is racing unnervingly fast. “What happened?”
He clenches his jaw. “Mrs. Calder came to me one day, told me she wasn’t pleased with Brynn’s work and was thinking about letting her go. Brynn apparently overheard us talking about her, because she decided it was time to make her move before she got fired. About a week later, I had a hellish day at work and then Laurene broke up with me, which only worsened my mood. Not because I loved her, but because I hate to fail at anything. I went to a bar that night and got hammered, then came home and passed out on the couch. Sometime later I woke up and found Brynn kneeling between my legs with her hand on my zipper. The room was dark, and in my dazed confusion, I thought she was Laurene until she spoke. I was half drunk andmad at the world, so in a stupid moment of weakness, I let her give me a blowjob.”
“You must’ve really enjoyed it,” I accuse, my stomach twisted with jealousy. “She says you came in her mouth.”
He scowls. “That doesn’t mean anything. It was nothing special and I regretted it immediately afterward, though I was more disgusted with myself than with her. When I fired her the next morning, she threatened to sue me for sexual harassment. I told her to go for it. She didn’t, unsurprisingly.” He grits his teeth, never tearing his gaze from mine. “I’m not proud of my behavior that night. If I could go back and change things, I would in a heartbeat. But I can’t, and you’re just going to have to accept that.”
I bite hard on my bottom lip, white-knuckled fingers gripping the tiny clutch in my lap.
He stares at me, his expression grim and frustrated. “Mar?—”
“You told me you never fool around with your employees. But that wasn’t completely true, Gunner. Brynn is a piece of shit for taking advantage of you while you were drunk. But whether or not you initiated the encounter, the fact remains that you were intimate with her, and you lied about it when you didn’t even have to.” I shake my head at him, my chest heavy with disappointment. “First the situation with Elliott Campion and now this. What other secrets are you keeping from me, Gunner? For all I know, you’ve been screwing Gianna every night you claimed you were working late.”
His face darkens with fury, but when he speaks his voice is controlled. “Is that how you see me? As a cheater?”
“I don’t know, Gunner! How can I trust you when you keep lying to me?”
He falls silent.
We’re sitting on opposite ends of the seat, and the chasm between us has never felt wider. It scares me like nothing else.
I watch as he turns away to stare out the window, his profile in shadow. My heart is thudding and I can barely breathe.
“I’m not,” he murmurs after a while.
“You’re not what?”
“Having an affair with Gianna.”
My throat tightens, though whether it’s in relief or fear of his next words, I can’t tell.
“Whatever you think of me, just know that I would never fuck another woman behind your back.” He turns his head and pins me with his cold gaze. “If I ever decide I’m done with you, trust me, sweetheart, you’ll know.”
He lets the vaguely ominous threat hang between us, twisting my heart in knots.
Then he turns back to the window and doesn’t say another word for the remainder of the drive home.
Chapter Thirty-Six
marlowe
“Thanks for the ride,” i saygratefully to my classmate as we approach the house on Wednesday evening.
“It’s no trouble at all. I hope Valeria’s car repairs won’t be too expensive. My car needed a new transmission last year, and my bank account isstillcrying.” Neeraj looks around the sprawling estate and whistles in amazement. “So this is how the one percent lives, huh?”
A small, rueful smile is my only response.
He pulls up in front of the stone steps and peers up at the mansion with an awed expression. “I can’t believe you live here with Pantheon’s CEO.”
Not sure how much longer that’ll be the case, I think glumly.Gunner and I have barely spoken since our argument on Sunday night. I’ve been in limbo, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s an excruciating feeling that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.