Page 99 of Sassy Love
“Overthinking this is a really bad idea,” he rasps.
“You should probably stop that, then.”
His hands splay over my ribs, his thumbs rubbing the soft flesh of my belly over my T-shirt.
His warm hands send a ridiculous heat through my body, homing in on my core.
“I don’t do relationships, Lawson,” I whisper.
He glances at his hands, his gaze studying the path his thumbs take for a beat before looking back up. “Why?”
Because I’m broken.
Because the first and only man I loved didn’t feel I was enough to stick around. And the wound he left has ruined every attempt I’ve ever made to have love in my life.
Hence, I no longer believe it exists.
“I don—I no longer believe in it,” I say, unable to look at him.
“It?”
“Love, I don’t believe in it. I believe there is companionship and there is lust. But love, that’s...”
He stands and cups my face. “Baby, you are literally surrounded by it in this place.”
He means his family, right?
I open my mouth to respond. His thumb drags over my lips, and he shakes his head. “Challenge accepted.”
“What?” I breathe.
“I accept the challenge, to show you love does exist and how much you deserve it.”
“Lawson,” I plead, shaking my head.
No.
The stakes are too high.
We work together.
Only one of us can stay. Best case, we go our separate ways; worst case...
“We’re literally fighting to save Serenity, we can’t afford the distraction. Not now.” I study his gaze for some hint of amusement. Like this could all be a huge prank he wants to playon me. Payback for our early days at Serenity and that one time I imitated him and Nadia. Well, only Nadia. But still, a low point in my life, and in my career.
The lowest.
“Love isn’t a liability, Carlie. It’s an asset. If my family shows you anything, it’s that.” He tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear and dots a kiss on my cheek before leaving out the front door.
He might have a point.
Maybe he has a point?
No.
There’s no point to this. He can’t convince me something intangible exists. He just can’t.
As much as the little girl inside me wants him to be right and me to be wrong, I know he’s not. Somewhere along the line he’ll realize either I can’t be loved, or I was right, and love’s simply something we create in our heads as we chase an illusion of happiness. Then, we’re both going to be left shattered.
