“Go away,” I said. “I don’t want to see you right now.”
“Unfortunately for you, I do what I want.” He stepped into the moonlight, hood up and sporting that snaggle-toothed smile I’d once thought was cute. It wasn’t now. I wanted to shove a cupcake into his annoying face. One that was sickeningly sweet with loads of sugar and chocolate and all the things I knew he didn’t like.
“Don’t you have a barmaid to roll around in the hay with?” I stormed off down the street.
“Ireallystruck a nerve.” He followed behind me. “If you’re looking for the inn, you’re going in the wrong direction.”
“Don’t care. Right now, I just want to get away from you.”
“Because you’re jealous?”
No sense in denying it. I didn’t have the energy. I spun around to him. “I thought we had a moment, Rowan.”
“A moment?”
“Yes. A moment. Several, in fact. The romantic night on the town. Holding hands while walking through the festival. The conversation on the rooftop under the stars. Then, earlier in the carriage.” A lump bobbed in my throat. “You said no one compared to me, and now you’re flirting with some girl right in front of me and holding on to her dumb love note or whatever.”
“Well, it would’ve been rude to throw it away.” He withdrew a piece of white fabric from his pouch and held it up, showing a kiss mark in rosy pink lipstick. “I heard girls give these to men they want to fuck. It’s supposed to be more discreet this way.”
That’s why he’d said he would take her up on her offer?
“You’re unbelievable,” I said with a shake of my head, the backs of my eyes stinging. “You really don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you?”
“Accepting her invitation would certainly be taking care of her too, I’d say. I’m not completely heartless. I’d make sure she enjoyed herself.”
“What do you want from me, Rowan?” I’d reached my threshold for his bullshit. “I thought you felt the same connection I do, but clearly, I was wrong. Does it amuse you to toy with people’s emotions like this?”
The humor left his eyes. “Yes, it does. Usually. But not with you. Seeing you upset like this, I …” He shifted his weight to his other foot. “Whatever this feeling is, I don’t care for it.”
“Just leave me alone.” I stepped backward. “I fold. I’m done playing this game. It hurts too much.”
I turned away and headed toward the right.
“I wanted to see your reaction,” he said softly. I stopped walking but didn’t look back at him. “She was just a pawn to me. I had no intention of actually fucking her. The flirtation was an act too.”
“Why?” The word sounded broken. I hated how I cried when I got mad or upset. Even more frustrating was getting upset in the first place.
Rowan slowly approached. The air stirred at the back of my neck as he reached me. “Because Idofeel that connection between us. And gods, I’ve never been more afraid of anything in all my life. You asked why I didn’t stay with Axel and Wren? It’s just as you said. I didn’t want to form any attachments. Caring about people gives them the power to hurt you, and I’ll be damned if I ever give that power to anyone.”
“So you wanted to hurt me instead?”
“I wanted to see if itwouldhurt you.” He trailed his fingers down my arm before gently taking hold and turning me to face him. “I see now it was cruel to do so. Because it did hurt you. More than I ever thought it would.”
Tears blurred my vision. “Yeah. It did.” I exhaled a dry laugh and wiped at my eyes. “Dumb, right? I have three amazing men who are the best partners a guy could ask for. Why am I getting possessive over one who isn’t even mine?”
“Maybe because I am.”
I lowered my hands from my face. “Huh? What did you—”
Rowan cupped the side of my neck and leaned in, brushing a soft kiss to my lips.
Stunned, I could only stand there while my brain tried to process. I never expected him to kiss me. Yet there he was, initiating a kiss with soft lips that were hesitant and unsure.
He broke contact before going back in for another one. His mouth slid across mine, slow and featherlight, almost like he was testing the way I felt.
“Am I…” Rowan’s breath tickled my lips as he released a frustrated sound. “Am I doing it wrong?”
That took me even more by surprise. The double whammy of shock canceled out the first one, rewiring my brain and allowing the tiny Evans running my body to sort out their shit and get back to work.
