Page 109 of The Haunting of Lockton
Paxton grazed his fingers along my forearm. “Yes. She died five years ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
He offered me a tight smile. “Some days, I wake up and still expect her to be in the kitchen, singing to herself as she cooks. Alan misses her too.”
“She knew about him?”
“She loved Alan like he was her own son,” he responded. “He’s actually the one who sensed she was sick before we evenknew. ‘I feel fine. I’m just tired,’ she told him, but he insisted she go to the doctor. She went in for a checkup and found out she had stage four breast cancer.” His voice shook. “She was gone a year later.”
“Fuck. I’m sorry, Paxton.” I sounded like a broken record, but I didn’t know what else to say. “We can talk about something else.”
“It’s okay. It’s easier to talk about her now. Still hurts but not nearly as much as it used to.” He pressed a kiss into my hair. “I think she would’ve adored you.”
“Everyone adores me,” I said, mainly to make him smile. It worked. “What about your dad? You said he left when you were little, right?”
“Yeah,” he responded. “He left us when I was three. I barely remember him.”
Was that why Paxton was so closed off when it came to relationships? His dad had left his mom and never looked back. So maybe he expected all guys to do the same to him.
Guilt clawed at my chest. Would I prove him right whenIleft Ivy Grove?
“As much as I don’t want to let you go, I know I have to. Someday. And it fucking tears me up inside,”he had said.
As Paxton held me against his chest and nuzzled the side of my hair, I knew it would hurt like hell for me too. For the first time in my life, I wanted more with someone.
Someone whose kisses detonated bombs in my chest and shattered me into a million pieces.
***
The next morning, we met Julian for breakfast at a downtown café that was supposed to have the best pancakes in town. I’d be the judge of that.
I drenched the plate of pancakes in syrup and cut into them. They were okay, but I wouldn’t call them the best in town. I looked at Paxton. “Yours are better.”
“Thanks.” He rewarded me with one of his shy smiles. I liked that about him. In bed, he was a total fuck machine, railing me so good I lost my goddamn mind. But then he had these timid moments too. I liked both sides of him.
“No Taylor today?” I asked Julian before shoveling another bite into my mouth.
“He had to work.” Julian ate a grape from his bowl of fruit. He normally ate light in the mornings, but I had insisted he order eggs too. He was the most responsible of the two of us—the more mature one too—but if not for me being a pest, he’d probably forget to eat most days. Or barely eat enough to feed a bird.
“He has a job?” I asked.
Julian nodded. “He works at a clothing store in the mall.”
“Ah. Cool. Maybe he should give you some fashion tips. Something to freshen up your look. Unless you like walking around in your Sam Winchester cosplay.”
He kicked me under the table.
“Ow.”
Paxton almost spit his coffee.
“Episode one for Lockton is ready to go, by the way,” Julian said after eating more grapes. The eggs were untouched on his plate. “After you review it and give your approval, I’ll post to our channel.”
“Nah, I trust you. Post whenever.” I took a big gulp of orange juice before shoving more not-as-good-as-Paxton’s pancakes into my mouth. I swallowed the bite and paused. “When did you have time to edit it?”
“I’ve worked on it here and there for a few days,” he responded. “I couldn’t sleep last night and was able to finish it.”
“You couldn’t sleep?” Guilt churned in my chest. He’d needed me, and I hadn’t been there. Again.
