Page 110 of Alastair
I nodded.
Lazarus kissed my hair. “All will be well. There were only seven of you last time. With Kallias, you’ll be stronger.”
My chin quivered. “Yeah. We will be.”
***
Quiet moments rarely happened when all of my brothers got together. If they weren’t bickering, they were being obnoxious in other ways, like concocting asinine ideas, pranking each other, or cracking jokes.
There were no jokes as we stood on the moonlit beach. No playful bickering or lighthearted jabs. I had asked them to meet me once their mates had gone to sleep for the night. Then, I had told them what I’d seen in the vision.
“You’re sure this is what needs to be done?” Galen asked, breaking the silence. I had wondered if it’d go on forever, one painful, silent moment stretching into another.
“I am.”
Bellamy dropped to his knees in the sand and stared at the dark water. Daman knelt beside him. A second passed before he wound his arms around Bellamy. The two of them said nothing. They just held each other. Being each other’s strength when both felt like breaking apart. I knew because I felt it too.
“This is bullshit,” Castor said, arms crossed. The fingertips of one hand dug into his bicep as he squeezed it tight. “There has to be another way. Maybe you misinterpreted the vision.”
“It’s the only way,” I said. “Believe me. I wish I was wrong. One of the very few times in my life I’ve ever wished for such a thing.”
My words hung in the air. More silence. Waves lapped at the shore, rolling in and brushing the tips of my boots before receding.
Raiden crouched down, placing both hands on the back of his hat as he lowered his head. “It’s not fair. We’ve already given so much. Why can’t we just be happy?”
“Because we were never meant to be happy.” Galen gritted his teeth. “It’s our curse to bear.” The veins bulged from his arms as he tensed. One of his eyes clouded over, the pupil expanding until the entirety of the iris turned black. “I was a fool for thinking otherwise.”
“What about our mates?” Bellamy whispered, hand lifting to the key dangling from his necklace. “Our souls are bound. What will happen to them?”
“They should be fine,” I answered. “Though, I supposefineisn’t the right word.”
“Thereareno right words for this,” Daman said, his voice rasping. I felt an echo of his aching heart. Not yet shattered but preparing for it. “What are we supposed to tell them?”
“Nothing.” I closed my eyes, recalling Lazarus’ scent as I pressed my face into his chest—as he held me. “We tell them nothing until the night it happens.”
“Nix and I don’t keep secrets. How am I gonna face him? How can I hold him and pretend everything’s okay, knowing that I…that we have to…” Bellamy shoved from the sand and yanked his hands through his hair. “Goddammit!”
Gray flinched at his outburst and curled into a ball. But he wasn’t afraid of Bellamy. He was feeling his anguish. We all felt it.
Galen, no longer able to contain Wrath, punched the tree closest to him, cracking the bark. “What was the goddamn reason for us finding our mates if this is how it all ends?”
“To make it mean more? To test our resolve? The fates work in mysterious ways,” I said, trying to keep my emotions at bay. Trying to be a pillar for them to lean on. “But I won’t force any of you to do this.”
Castor scoffed. It sounded pained. “You say that like we actually have a choice.”
“You do. As Raiden said, we’ve given so much throughout our lives. We’ve known little outside of war and constant fighting. If any of you choose to sit this one out, I’ll understand. This needs to be a decision you make for yourself.”
Kallias stared out to sea, the short strands of his black hair ruffling with the breeze. “We haven’t a choice. If we don’t do this, Lucifer will never be stopped. He’ll succeed in his conquest and bring all of humankind to its knees. This world we stand upon at this moment will turn to ash as he burns it all down.”
“Then let it burn,” Bellamy said, balling his hands into fists. “Let it all fucking burn. I don’t care anymore.”
“We can’t let that happen,” Raiden said.
“Why not?” Bellamy trembled. From sadness. From anger. “We’ve spent our entire lives fighting! Why can’t someone else deal with this shit for once? I’m tired of it.” Tears sprang to his eyes, and he turned away from us, shoulders slumping. “I just want to make a home with Phoenix. Start a family with him someday. And now I can’t. None of us can.”
Daman stared at his wedding ring. He touched the band—made of two-toned metal, gold and platinum—with a single sapphire on top. “Marrying Warrin… loving him… it’s made me so fucking happy.” His voice cracked. “But I’ll never see our cottage again. I’ll never get to see him become a dad or be one myself. The thought of a mini-War with his silver hair and big blue eyes, his little hands holding mine. Gods. I want that so much. I want more time with my husband. But we won’t get our happy ending.”
And then Daman did what I’d never seen him do. He wrapped both arms around his stomach, leaned forward, and cried—body-shaking sobs that cut across my heart like jagged shards of glass.
