Page 32 of Daman
My whole life, Envy had convinced me I was unworthy of love. Anytime I had truly liked a guy, doubt had taken root in my mind, and Envy whispered in my ear, pointing out all my flaws. And there were a lot of them.
“Okay. The pity party needs to leave the fucking station.” Bellamy yanked the pillow off my face. “Don’t let your shitty sin ruin your day.”
“You’re so lucky, Bell.” I sat up in bed, trying to ignore the pounding in my skull. “As the avatar of Lust, your life is a huge fuckfest. It’s easy compared to the rest of us. You get to fuck all you want and don’t have to fight against yourself on a daily basis. You can give in to your sin with no problem.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m lucky.” Bellamy squared his jaw and sat on the edge of the bed. “Sure, sex is great, and I make the best of the hand I’ve been dealt. Yeah, I even enjoy it. But Lust is a sin for a reason, D.” His sad expression was so unlike him. “How could I ever have a serious relationship like this? My crazy high sex drive and impossible-to-count number of past sexual partners doesn’t exactly scream boyfriend material.”
“I didn’t know you were interested in a relationship.”
“I’m not.” He stood back up. “I was only speaking hypothetically.”
Then why did he look so upset?
“Bell…” I got out of bed and approached him. The ache in my head was lessening, but the one in my chest grew at seeing my brother upset.
His hazel eyes were pinned to me and changed between various colors as usual. “Nope. Don’t you dare look at me like that. Don’t pity me. I was just talking shit. Why would I tie myself down to one person when I can have them all?” He opened a drawer and tossed a clean pair of boxer briefs at me. “Go take a bath. You smell like liquor and cigars.”
Bellamy’s lips could speak lies, but his mind revealed the truth.
“He doesn’t see how good he has it,”he thought. Normally, we couldn’t read each other’s minds unless we spoke directly to each other, but when one of us felt a strong emotion, sometimes thoughts slipped through anyway.
The envious nature of his thoughts probably helped project them into my mind as well.
Deciding it was best not to antagonize him, I walked into the connecting bathroom and started water for my bath. He left the bedroom.
Why did he think I had it good? Marrying a man I barely knew for the sake of an alliance wasn’t exactly something to be jealous about.
The ceremony was set to take place a little before noon, and the reception would last throughout the day and into the evening. I’d heard that Russian weddings lasted for days sometimes with banqueting, dancing, drinking, and even trips around the city. Ice dragon customs were slightly different though.
I spent more time than necessary in the bath. The hot water felt too good on my tense shoulders. I also manscaped a bit. I wasn’t sure if Warrin wanted to fuck me later, but if he did, I wanted to look my best, and it had been a while since I’d been laid.
How many people had he screwed? Were some of them going to attend the wedding? Warrin seemed like the type of guy to fuck hard with little to no emotion involved. Just rough sex to blow his load and then leave. No cuddling or pillow talk.
But then I recalled his rosy cheeks as he’d blushed and how he struggled to hold eye contact with me. Was I wrong about him?
Guess I’ll find out soon.
After my bath, I dried off and stared at my hair in the mirror. It fell a bit into my face, some strands longer than others in a sideswept fringe style.
“Daman!”Gray’s bubbly voice filled my head.“Open your door and let us in.”
“What are you? Vampires? Let yourselves in.”
I left the bathroom as the door opened and Gray rushed into the room, Raiden, Castor, and Kyo behind him.
“Here comes the bride,” Raiden sang, clasping his hands to his chest opera-style. He tilted his head at me. “A bride who is still in his underwear.”
“I’m not a bride, you asswipe.” I plopped down in the armchair. “Why are you guys here?”
Gray threw himself on my bed and burrowed under the blanket, sticking his head out from the top and grinning at me. “To help you get ready.”
“Yeah, you look like you’ll be a lot of help.”
Gray pouted. “Quit being so grumpy.”
The room quickly fell into chaos. My definition of it anyway. I was a solitary creature, and my brothers were taking over my space. Armen brought a platter of food and a pot of coffee for breakfast as I got ready. It was ten thirty. I had an hour and a half before I needed to be fully dressed and at the chapel.
Bellamy came in—his sour mood from earlier gone—and shoved me back into the bathroom, sitting me in front of the mirror. I sipped my coffee as he plugged in a flat iron and waited for it to get hot.
