Page 49 of Castor
“I don’t want to talk.”
“So let’s not talk.” Castor tugged me to his chest and captured my lips in a kiss so soft it made my already aching heart ache even more.
I should’ve pushed him away. We were skating on thin ice. If not careful, we’d fall through the surface and perhaps never find our way out again. And how fitting for me to think about ice, seeing as to how an ice dragon was the reason for my dilemma—the reason I’d have to walk away from Castor, leaving all of these feelings behind. If that was even possible.
“Kiss me back,” Castor said against my mouth, his fingers knotting in the back of my hair.
I wanted to. Gods, how I wanted to.
“I can’t.”
I tried to pull away, and his grip tightened.
“What did I do wrong?” Castor’s voice cracked a little. “Is it because I said I liked you?”
“No.”
“Then what is it? Jesus, Kyo. Just tell me. Please.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” I swallowed the tightness in my throat, but it came back. The vulnerability in his voice and the desperation in which he held me weakened my resolve. “This is all on me.”
“The classic ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ defense.” Castor’s hand trembled as it rested at my nape. He then took a step back, letting that hand fall to his side. “Goddammit, I sound so needy. Another first for me.”
“This time it’s true. Itisme.” It felt like someone grabbed my sternum and yanked on it. “You’re incredible, Castor. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”
“Any guy except for you, right?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Then uncomplicate it for me.” Castor backed me up against the balcony door, slapping a hand beside my head and peering at me through hurt-filled eyes. “On the jet, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. And now you won’t even kiss me. What changed?”
“Nothing. And everything.” Heat radiated off his body, and although I yearned to wrap myself around that warmth, I forced myself to stay in place against the door. “Just like the stars. They seem so constant, but they’re not. Not really. Stars die every day. It’s our perception of them that makes them seem eternal.”
“Thanks for the science lesson, but I don’t give a fuck about the stars right now.” Green eyes burned into mine. “I care aboutyou. Us. Right now.”
Us.That one word both warmed my heart and shattered it.
I had to tell Castor the truth. I couldn’t run from it any longer.
“There can’t be anus,” I said, hating each word as it came out.
“Why not?” Castor lost some of his fire as he touched my jaw, his hand unsteady. “Is my dick really the only thing you like about me?”
“Don’t be an idiot,” I said, trying to lighten my tone, but it came out even rougher. “Of course I like more than your dick.” The sound of his laugh. The softness of his touch. That gleam in his eyes right before he kissed me. All of those things had seared into my memory. Into my heart. “I like so much more than that.”
“But you don’t want to be with me.”
“Want has nothing to do with it, Red.”
“I don’t understand. You like me. I like you. Why can’t we at least try seeing where this goes? Why does it have to be an emotionless fling?”
“Because a future with me is impossible.”
“Is it your brother?” he asked. “Does he have a rule about you dating outside your species?”
“No.” My heart banged against my ribcage. “I… I have to…”
Castor stared at me, waiting. The words were right there on my lips. How would he react once I set them free?
