Page 95 of Castor
Warrin’s face fell a bit. “The marriage arrangement doesn’t upset me, but I see that you don’t feel the same.”
“I don’t mean to offend you,” I backtracked, inwardly chiding myself for possibly fucking up this whole thing. “You seem like a decent guy.”
“But you love another.” A knowing gleam surfaced in his eyes. “The male with red hair.”
Averting my gaze, I nodded. If I tried to talk, my voice would break.
“That explains the look he gave me before we left,” Warrin said.
I peered back up at him. “What look?”
“Like he was breaking apart.”
I felt a similar breaking in my chest right then. I held the necklace closer to my heart, doing everything in my power to keep from crying in front of him. I’d done enough crying over the past few days. Tears solved nothing.
“I’ve never felt that way about anyone,” Warrin said, taking a small step toward the water’s edge. The tide touched his shoes before receding. “It seems unpleasant.”
“What does?”
“Love.” He cocked his head at me, an inquisitive gleam in his eyes. “Perhaps that’s why the arrangement between us doesn’t bother me. I’ve always viewed marriage as a diplomatic tool. I grew up with the belief that everything I did, I did for my people. I knew I’d never be king. My brother was the eldest, and he soon had sons of his own. So, I dedicated my life to being a soldier. I trained my body and strengthened my mind, tossing aside all desire and selfishness.”
“Surely notalldesire. Tatsuya said King Nikolai chose me for you because you prefer the company of men. I bet you had a pretty boy or two to warm your bed.”
“No one has ever shared my bed.” Warrin rested a hand on the hilt of his sword and stared at the stretch of blue water.
“You’re a virgin?” I asked in disbelief. “How is that even possible? No one’s a virgin anymore.”
“Well, I am.” An almost shy look crossed his face. “I hope my inexperience won’t be too much of a problem once we’re wed.”
The thought of having sex with him made that hole in my chest grow even bigger. I didn’t want anyone’s hands on me but Castor’s.
“It was nice to meet you, Prince Warrin, but I need to rest. I’m still not at my full strength.”
“Of course.” He tipped his head to me. “Shall I escort you back to the palace?”
“No. That won’t be necessary.” I found the path through the trees and left the beach, my heart in my throat.
I wanted to go home. I missed my house and my bike. I missed working at the antique shop with Simon and laughing when Gray tagged along and played with things he shouldn’t. Most of all, I missed a certain red-haired Nephilim with eyes that sparkled like emeralds and whose touch set me on fire.
All of that was gone. Maybe for forever.
I returned to my room in the palace and fell into bed, my memories of Castor playing in my head on an endless loop. His laugh. His kiss. His moans as I touched that special place on his shoulder blades. My thoughts flickered through them like one of those old film reels, each scene so close but untouchable.
One memory damn near knocked the breath from my lungs.
“Every time I get close to someone, I end up losing them.”
Castor had said those words not long after we’d started seeing each other. And now, I was just like all those other people who had left him.
Irritation prickled at the back of my neck. I got out of bed and exited the room, heading down the long corridor toward the main staircase.
“Where’s the king?” I asked one of the palace guards.
“Prince Kyo.” She bowed her head in respect. “King Tatsuya is with the queen in the royal garden.”
I took the stairs down into the entrance hall and turned down the corridor that led outside. I walked beneath the breezeway and came out near a tall fountain surrounded by an assortment of flowers and tropical plants.
Tatsuya led Queen Yuma, his first wife, through the garden at a leisurely pace. She wore a blue kimono with a floral design.
