Page 41 of Perfectly Us
Attraction.
Desire.
Is this what it’s like?
I whimper and finally deepen the kiss. I don’t fully understand what’s happening with me.
What Idoknow? I love kissing Alex. I love his soft inhales against my mouth, us sharing a breath between each pressing of our lips. I love the way he makes me feel, like I’m one of those paper lanterns people light and release into the air.
He set me on fire, then made me soar.
Chapter Nine
Alex
When I kiss a guy, it’s usually just a prelude to getting in his pants.
But not with Shiloh.
As we kiss upstairs in the projection room, time stands still. It’s just me, him, and this crazy, exciting, and downright confusing thing between us. Because I thought the attraction was one-sided. The sizzling connection that has us making out and pressing closer together can’t be denied though.
“Are you sure this is okay?” I ask between kisses.
Shiloh kisses me harder, deeper. I back him up against the wall, having to tilt my head up because he’s taller than me. He grips my waist with one hand and moves the other to my nape, threading his fingers through the back of my hair.
Static sounds from the radio on my hip.
“Hey, Alex?” Ruben asks. “Everything okay up there? You’re late starting the movie for theater two.”
“Shit!” I grab the radio and respond, “Hey. About to start it now.”
“Cool.”
I rush over to the monitor for that theater, then hit Start.When I turn back around, Shiloh is smiling down at the floor, fingers touching the edge of his mouth. The kiss was interrupted, but the effects of it are still in full swing. He’s bashful now, but he’s not running away like I feared he might.
“So.” I step closer to him. “That was… interesting.”
“Yeah.” He drops his hand, having trouble meeting my eyes. “It was.”
“I didn’t know you were…” I move a hand back and forth between us when he looks at me. “You know. Into dudes.”
“I’m not,” Shiloh says, then blows out a sharp breath. “I mean, I don’t knowwhatI am. It’s what I was trying to say that night in the parking lot. I’ve always felt different.”
“How so?”
He shrugs. “Hard to explain.”
I go and stand in front of him, reaching for his hand. He lets me take it. “Not to toot my own horn, but I’ve been told I’m kinda an awesome listener. If you ever want to talk to me about anything, I’m here.” I smooth my thumb over his knuckle. “I’ve been there before, trying to figure it all out. It can be lonely. Scary. But you don’t have to do it all alone.”
“Did you?” he asks. “Have to do it all alone?”
A memory surfaces.
I’m standing in front of Clay, tears pouring from my eyes. We’re in his bedroom. I tell him that I think I’m gay, and I’m shaking, feeling like I’m going to puke. I’m terrified he’s going to hate me or say that I’m disgusting, that he’s going to reject me. He puts a hand on my shoulder, and I look up at him.
“So what?” Clay says, offering me a kind smile. “You’re still Alex no matter who you love. And you’re the most awesome person I know.”
The memory fades away, and I blink, seeing Shiloh in front of me. He’s patiently watching me, those blue eyes pinned to my face.
