Page 38 of Perfectly Us
“Oh. Hey, man.”
I look up to see Ruben. He’s holding a small broom and dustpan, having just left the men’s bathroom.
“Hey,” I respond.
“You here to see Al?”
I nod.
“I’ll get him for you.”
“I don’t want to bother him if he’s busy.”
Ruben smirks. “Are you kidding? It’ll make his day.”
Will it really? Does Alex like being around me that much? Hard to believe I could mean so much to someone. Someone other than my dad anyway. Which… is pathetic to think about, but whatever.
Ruben opens a door and goes behind the counter, disappearing in the back room seconds later. Anxiety spikes through me as I wait, and I sharply inhale, my hands trembling a bit.
Why am I so nervous? I’ve hung out with Alex before. He’s not a stranger anymore.
He’s my friend.
Alex appears behind the concession stand and grins at me before leaving through the employee-only door and walking across the lobby. His light brown hair is flippy in the front and juts up a bit. It does that sometimes, as if certain strands refuse to be tamed. Much like the boy they’re attached to.
“Hey,” Alex says, stopping in front of me. “I wasn’t expecting you ’til later.”
I stand from the couch. “Sorry. I can leave and come back.”
He snorts, and his nose crinkles up. “Like I’d make you do that. It’s better this way, actually. I have some downtime right now.” He checks his phone. “For another ten minutes anyway, and then I gotta clean a theater. You can walk with me.”
“You sure it’s okay? I don’t wanna get you in trouble or anything.”
“You worry a lot, huh?” Alex tips his head to the side. “Come on. I’ll show you around. It’s kinda cool behind the scenes.”
I walk with him past the podium where someone usually stands to tear people’s tickets, and then we go down a long hallway.
“I do, you know,” I say, keeping a slow pace beside him. “Worry a lot. I overthink everything. Obsess. If I say something stupid, I spend the rest of the day stressing about it. Hell, there’s shit that happened years ago that I still lie in bed at night thinking about. It’s like my mind never shuts off. It just plays on an endless loop.”
I notice then that Alex’s stopped walking. And he’s staring at me. Not in the way I’m used to though. There’s no pity in his eyes. But there’s sadness. Regret, maybe.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you had to justify yourself. You see, I’ve never really dealt with anxiety, unless it was nerves before a big test or something, so I don’t know how it feels to have your own mind constantly battle against you. I don’t ever want you thinking you can’t be yourself around me. I’ll do better to understand. I promise.”
For some reason, I get kind of emotional at that. The backs of my eyes sting, and I look over at one of the lit-up framed posters on the wall.
“I’ve had people get frustrated with me before,” I say, staring at how the neon lights reflect on the poster case. “My friends from school called me needy because I get in these mindsets where I need constant reassurance or something. I don’t know. I walk into a crowded room and wonder if everyone’s laughing at me. Other times, I feel like they can’t see me at all.”
Alex places a hand on my arm, drawing my attention back to him. His kind expression soothes my building anxiety.
“I see you, Shi.”
The nickname makes my heart knock around in my chest. Makes me feel closer to him, more connected.
“You called me Shi.”
“Is that okay?” He nervously runs his teeth over his bottom lip. “I don’t have t—”
“I like it.”
