Page 58 of A Warrior's Heart
Doubt shone in his eyes. “I… we shouldn’t…”
“We shouldn’t what? Be happy?”
Malik watched me. Said nothing.
He would lay down his life for me. I knew that without a doubt. Yet, as a warrior, he put the mission first. He put the kingdom first. He would never choose something as selfless as love.
The realization struck my chest like a bolt of lightning, burning away every ounce of hope. My heart settled back into place like an anchor had attached itself to it and yanked it from the air. The weightless feeling fled, and I felt so exhausted. Heavy.
“You really are stubborn.” I released my hold on him and hopped off the barrel, my eyes watering as soon as I turned my back to him. “I can’t do this anymore, the constant back and forth between us. You won’t ever let yourself be happy with me. It’s a truth I must accept.”
“Troy…”
“Leave me be, Malik.” I didn’t look at him. I couldn’t. “And if you ever think to kiss me again? Don’t. My heart can’t take anymore.”
I walked to my cabin without another word to him. I wasn’t a man who surrendered so easily, but I felt too beaten down. Crushed. I plopped on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, moving my hand through the streams of moonlight spilling in through the round window.
A creak sounded outside the door before a shadow moved beneath it. A shadow that stood in place, unmoving. And then he walked away.
When the door swung open not long after, I sat up, thinking—hoping—it was Malik.
“Why are you in bed already?” Eva asked. “The night is still early.”
With my hope deflating for the second time that evening, I fell back on the bed and tried to blink away the tears building behind my eyes.
“Tell me what’s troubling you.” Eva sat beside me and rubbed my back. “Is it Malik?”
I looked at her as a tear escaped and rolled down my cheek. “How did you know?”
“The whole ship knows.” She wiped away my tear. “There are bets going to see how long it takes for you to finally stop being dimwitted fools and see what we all see.”
“He’s the fool. Not me.” I pushed myself up and cocked my head. “Are you all really betting on us?”
Eva smiled. “Shar’s idea.”
“Of course it was.” I shifted over to give her more room. “What’s your wager?”
“I’ve already lost.” She sighed and propped her head up with her hand. “I bet that you two would already be sharing a cabin by now.”
My cheeks heated, and I playfully nudged her arm. “Because Mal is so warm and cuddly, right?”
“You don’t see the way he looks at you when you’re not paying attention,” Eva said, her tone serious. “His eyes light up when you’re around.”
“Then why does he keep pushing me away?” An ache pierced my chest and traitorous tears stung my eyes again.
“Oh, my love.” Eva pulled me into her arms and petted my hair. “A warrior’s heart is strong, but when it breaks, it shatters. Malik’s broke many years before you and I were even born. And he doesn’t know how to pick up those pieces and put them back together.”
“My heart is too damaged to ever love again.”
As Malik’s words ran through my head, I jumped out of bed and headed for the door.
“He was near the bow when I last saw him,” Eva called out from behind me, knowing exactly where I intended to go.
To him.
I left the cabin and padded across the wooden boards, stepping out from the awning leading to the upper deck and continuing forward. Shar and Nereus had returned from town and sat against the post of the crow’s nest, talking quietly. They put a little distance between their bodies at my approach.
“Everything all right?” Nereus asked as I reached them.
