Page 90 of His Surrender
“Yes,” he said with no doubt in his eyes.
“Good.” He needed to know how much I desired him.
The food menu was set up for couples to share, so we ordered mini black angus beef sliders as our entree and truffle fries. Over dinner, Remi talked about his students and the spring concert that would take place in mid-April. Foster had told me he was nervous about it, and I’d sat and listened to his solo from that damn Disney movie probably a million times—that’s what it’d felt like anyway.
“Are you going to attend the concert?” Remi asked.
“Of course.” Not only to support Foster… but to support Remi too. I grabbed my cocktail—my third for the evening—and finished it off before scooting back from the table. “Ready to dance?”
Remi groaned. “I thought you’d forget.”
“Come on, you big chicken.” I stood and offered him a hand. He accepted it and rose to his feet, a nervous smile on his face as we made our way to the area near the stage and joined other dancing couples. I placed a hand at his lower back and pulled him close to me, still holding his hand with the other. “See? This isn’t so bad.”
He linked our fingers and pressed his face to my shoulder as we rocked side to side to the slow jazz. I rested my cheek on the side of his head. The warmth in my chest spread, and I felt so damn happy.
I never knew how incredible it could be to let someone close to me.
The next song was faster in tempo, and Remi laughed as I swung him outward and tugged him back to my chest. We both were pretty awful if I was being honest, but we were smiling and having fun. Definitely a night I’d always remember.
“I’m goin’ to get another drink,” I said in his ear after a few more songs. Both of us were a bit out of breath. “You want anything?”
“Water, please.”
“You got it.” I kissed his cheek before pulling out of his embrace and striding toward the bar. I looked behind me and saw him start talking to a group of older men. He laughed at something one of them said.
“Jay?”
That voice.
Shifting my focus forward, the breath rushed from my lungs and I felt so heavy. While gray streaked some of his blond hair now and there were a few added wrinkles… he looked the same as he had the day he told me it was over and left me heartbroken in a hotel room.
“Andrew,” I said, barely able to get the word out.
“You look…” He stepped forward, his blue eyes trailing over my body. “Different. More grown-up.”
“Well, it’s been fourteen years. I’m not a kid anymore.”
“No, you’re not.” Andrew cocked a smile and swept a hand through his hair. The action drew my attention to his fingers and the ring that was no longer on one of them. A ring I had loathed with every fiber of my being for three long years. “But you’re still just as beautiful.”
“My beautiful boy. All mine.”
I didn’t even recognize the sound that came from me, a mix between a whine and a sigh.
“I… I need to…” I looked around as panic started to rise and wrap its claws around my throat. My vision began to darken around the edges. “I need to go. Excuse me.”
He snatched my arm before I got even a step away. “Don’t go just yet. It’s been so long. We should catch up. Look at me when I’m speaking to you.” My eyes instantly went to his. He smiled. “Good boy.”
Fourteen years later and I was still an obedient mutt. How did this man still have such a hold on me?
Tears burned the backs of my eyes. My breaths shook just like my trembling body.This isn’t who I am anymore.
“Let go of me.” I yanked my arm from his grip as a hot tear fell down my cheek. “I don’t know why you’re here, and I don’t care. But I refuse to let you do this. I’m happy now. Happy despite everything you put me through.”
“I’m glad you found happiness. Truly,” Andrew said as his brow creased. “Hurting you was never my intention, Jay. We were both burning back then, remember? It just took longer for my flames to soothe. I left Holly. We’ve been divorced for nearly seven years. I was tired of lying to her and to myself.”
I stepped back when he moved closer, and he put his hands up as if to say he was harmless. He’d never physically hurt me—with the exception of the night he’d fucked me roughly and left me right after, leaving me feeling used and dirty—but he was manipulative and controlling. Three years of my life had been wasted with him. Years where I was treated like a dirty secret.
“That’s great you’re finally living your truth,” I said, surprised by the steadiness of my voice. “If you’ll excuse me, I should really get back to my date.”
