Page 63 of His Surrender
Remi fell asleep before I did. As his breathing changed, growing softer, I tightened my arm around him. He made an adorable, sleepy sound and snuggled more into me.
“I never wanted to fall for you,” I whispered. “I still don’t.”
But he wasn’t giving me much of a choice.
Keeping my distance from him hadn’t worked. I kept being drawn right back to him, like a moth to a damn flame. Trying to move on hadn’t worked either. No other man appealed to me. As much as it terrified me… it also excited me. Remi kept me on my toes. He was my match in many ways, and my complete opposite in others.
“I don’t want an illusion, Jay. I want to see the real you.”
There was no sense in living in the past. But what about when that past still had its claws dug into you? How could I show Remi the real me when it had been so long since I’d seen him myself?
My eyes opened when I heard a soft scratching at the door.Sput, you little devil.Careful not to wake Remi, I got out of bed and opened the bedroom door. Sputnik rushed in and shot toward the bed before sitting on the floor and staring up at me. I put him on the bed and grinned when he crept toward Remi and sniffed him.
Emery had been the only other man to ever stay the night with me, and Sputnik was territorial of his spot—which was half-on, half-off the pillow beside me. He’d often wedged between me and Emery, and sometimes, he’d lain on Emery’s head. So, I was curious of how he’d react to Remi.
I got back into bed and pulled the sheet back over me. Sputnik walked around a moment, going in circles before finally settling. He lay on the other side of Remi and curled up against his chest.
“Everything okay?” Remi mumbled in a sleep-heavy voice, turning his head to look at me. Then, noticing the purring cat beside his chest, he grinned and scratched Sput’s head. “Hey, sweet boy.”
“Everything’s fine.” I slipped my arm around him. “Go back to sleep.”
When I finally fell asleep, I dreamed of Andrew. I blamed it on my newfound feelings for Remi. Just when I started feeling like I could move on from the past, that bastard appeared and pulled me right back in.
In the dream, Andrew walked toward me, pulling at his tie. We were in his office at the college. The door was locked. The window was closed, and so were the blinds. It was common for us to meet in his office after class for a quickie.
“You’ll feel me for days after this,” Andrew said, flipping me around to face his desk. “Your ass is mine, Jay. Say it.”
“It’s yours,” I responded.
“That’s my boy.”
It might’ve been a dream, but it had been my reality for years. A reality I had enjoyed immensely—mainly because I hadn’t known any better. I had thought Andrew loved me. He’d made me feel special. As horrible as it had been, him being married had only added to the excitement.
He must really care about me if he’d cheat on his wife for me. How naïve I had been back then. Andrew had wrapped me around his finger. When he saidjump, I’d askedhow high.He’d controlled me—in the bedroom and even in my personal life.
I woke the next morning with damp cheeks and a wet spot on my pillow. I wiped at my eyes and sat up. The sun peeked through the blinds, shining golden beams on Remi as he slept. I lightly touched his bare side, finding comfort in the warmth of his skin. Everything about him was so warm. Unlike Andrew.
My dream had left a cold sheen of sweat on my skin and iciness inside my chest, but having Remi beside me helped chase away the chill. He made me believe that, maybe, I could eventually be the type of man I wanted to be.
I got out of bed and grabbed a clean pair of joggers from the drawer before putting them on.
Sputnik raised his head and slow-blinked at me. He made a little noise in his throat and came over to the edge of the bed before stretching out his front paws. I gathered him in my arms and snuck out of the room as quietly as possible.
It was a beautiful Saturday morning. Birds chirped in the trees in my backyard, and when I opened the screen door to let in some fresh air, it smelled like spring. Definitely a warm day for end of February, but I’d take it. I started a pot of coffee, and as it brewed, I checked the emails on my phone.
Multiple people were involved in every criminal case. They worked behind the scenes to help the attorney present the best case possible. The prosecution had the aid of the police department, and if the detectives found anything else that could be useful, I was one of the first ones they came to. I had also assembled a team to help me go through all of the discovery—there were boxes full—and to contact me if they came across anything.
One of them had sent me an email with a subject line that read,This is huge.
I scanned the email and then froze, my heart thumping wildly. Missing things—or overlooking them—during the discovery process happened all too often. And this one was, indeed, huge. I couldn’t believe it was missed.
It was a screenshot of a text conversation sent from Lindsey Wilson to her sister, Sarah.
Lindsey:I hate him so much. I just wish he would die.
Sarah:Just divorce the stupid asshole and take all his money.
Lindsey:I signed a pre-nup. Ugh. Do you still get life insurance money if their death is an ‘accident’? hahaha
