Page 35 of His Surrender
Ironic, right? I was born on one of the most romantic days of the year but couldn’t find love.
The waiter returned to take our food orders, dropped off another basket of rolls, and left again. Nathan told me about life in Little Rock and how he preferred living somewhere more populated. I talked about my job and shared a bit about playing in the band with Johnny and the other guys.
“Still into jazz, then?” he asked, cutting into his nine-ounce steak once the waiter brought our food.
“Always.”
Nathan crinkled his nose. “Damn. I absolutely hate jazz.”
“You do? You used to like it when we dated.”
“No, Ipretendedto like it,” he said. “You’d get so excited when playing songs for me, and I didn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying I thought it sucked.”
Did that mean all the times I’d played the piano for him, he was inwardly cringing the whole time?
“Oh.” Talk about a mood killer. “You could’ve told me you hated it.”
“What’s done is done,” he said like it was no big deal. “I still like you. I just hate your music. And at least you don’t wear that stupid fedora anymore.”
That was like a kick to the gut. Suddenly, all romantic ideals I’d allowed to build in my head started trickling away. Since when did Nathan become a jerk? I was sure he didn’t mean to be one, but he came across that way.
“Actually, I still wear the hat.”
“Bummer,” he said, grinning.
Seeing a head of short blond hair from the corner of my eye, I looked that way with my heart in my throat. The man sat at the bar beside our section, wearing a gray suit. Same hairstyle and build. But when he turned his head and I saw his face, my heart dropped back into place. It wasn’t Jay.
Why did it bother me? It wasn’t like I actually wanted him to show up while I was on a date with someone else. Or maybe I did.I don’t know. My head is so messed up.
“You okay?” Nathan asked, drawing my attention. Jerk or not, he still had such kind eyes. And a set of nice, plump lips.
“Do you want to come back to my place after dinner?” I asked, surprising myself a little with how forward I was being.
I blamed Jay. My desire for him consumed me, and his actions over the past week of little to no communication after the best sex of my life had pissed me off. I wanted to get over him for good. What better way to do that than to get on top of someone else? Casual sex wasn’t my thing, but I’d make an exception that night.
I was just irritated enough to do it.
Nathan mirrored my shock before the edge of his mouth curved in a smile. “Hell yeah.”
***
Nathan and I crashed against my front door, our lips locked and our hands pulling at each other’s clothes. I pulled away long enough to unlock the door and fling it open, and then we were kissing again in the living room, falling on the couch.
He grinded his hips into me and sucked the base of my throat. I arched my back with a moan, grabbing at the material of his shirt.
“Sex with you was always amazing,” Nathan said with a growl, slipping his hand under my shirt and tweaking my nipple.
My body responded to him just fine. It was my head that wasn’t in it. I returned his kisses and moaned accordingly, but that damn blond bastard dominated my thoughts. Because I was comparing the two men. Nathan kissed me, and I remembered how Jay kissed me. His lips had been softer. He’d tasted sweeter.
Jay had taken my breath away.
He still had that breath too. As though a part of me was with him even now as I got ready to fuck someone else.
“What’s wrong?” Nathan asked, as I sat up and stood from the couch. My belt was unbuckled and flapping open, and my shirt was unbuttoned.
“I’m sorry,” I said, meeting his confused stare. “I thought I was ready for this, but I’m not.”
Nathan swept a hand through his brown hair and reclined against the back cushion. “You getting over someone?”
