Page 54 of His Surrender
Smirking, he backed out of the parking spot and turned onto the street. “To answer your question… no, I haven’t. I fuck in hotel rooms and at the other guy’s house. Hardly ever in my own space.”
“You don’t take men home with you?”
“Only very rarely,” he answered. “You remember Emery? The dark-haired guy who comes with me to the 906 sometimes?” I nodded. “We used to fuck, and he’s basically the only guy who’s ever been in my bed.”
“You don’t do that with him anymore?”
“No. He’s with someone now and is happy.” Jay smiled, and it showed how much he cared about this Emery guy. “Maybe you could meet him sometime.” Right after he said the words, his face fell and he stared at the road with a furrowed brow.
Did he regret saying it?
“Don’t worry about it.” I looked out the window. “I don’t have to meet your friends, Jay. We’re just hanging out. Nothing serious.”
He grabbed my hand, surprising me. “I want you to meet him. Sorry for getting weird. I’m just not used to this. Any of it.” Emerald eyes flickered to mine before focusing back on the road. “This is new for me. Even the time Iwasin a relationship, I still didn’t go out with him or introduce him to my family or friends, and we certainly didn’t do anything romantic.”
I frowned. “That doesn’t sound like much of a relationship.”
“I guess it wasn’t. Not really.” Jay got quiet. He was still holding my hand, though he held it a bit tighter now. He didn’t say anything more, and I didn’t feel right pressing him on it.
“Where are we going for dinner?” I asked, knowing if I didn’t change the subject the silence would draw on longer.
“Is Bricktown okay? I’m craving their turkey burger.”
“I’ve never been to Bricktown, but I’ve heard good things.”
“Glad I could be your first.” He smiled and moved his thumb across mine. He was back to his playful self, but I couldn’t help but wonder if it was all a show. That, maybe, his mind was still in whatever dark place I’d made him go by talking about relationships.
When we got to the restaurant, he found a spot up front to park and let go of my hand. I tried not to let it bother me as we walked toward the entrance, farther apart than what I would’ve preferred. His wounds went deeper than I’d imagined, and he clearly needed time to sort through those issues. There was no quick or easy fix. Each heart mended differently, on its own time.
He’s trying.
I smiled at the thought.
The hostess led us to a booth in the bar area straight ahead, and butterflies fluttered in my stomach when Jay placed his hand on my lower back as we followed her. That one small touch meant a lot to me. Especially when people at the table beside us looked at his hand on my back, and he didn’t pull away. It reminded me of when Nathan practically yanked his hand from mine the first moment someone looked at us.
“Your waiter will be right with you,” the hostess said before leaving, but not until she looked Jay up and down.
He smiled at her, but it was more polite than flirty. Funny how I could tell the difference.
“Order anything you want,” Jay said, handing me a menu before grabbing one for himself. “Dinner’s on me.”
“I can buy my own—”
“I invited you,” he interjected, tapping his index finger on the tabletop. “Only right for me to pay.”
“Actually, I invitedyou,” I said, my smile widening when his tapping finger tapped even faster.
“Don’t argue with me, piano man.”
I snorted at the nickname and looked over the menu. After a few seconds, I felt him watching me and glanced up. Jay averted his gaze and cleared his throat, his forehead creasing as he studied his menu with more concentration than necessary.
The waitress came to take our drink orders—Jay ordered a beer, and I got a Coke.
“Can I start you off with any appetizers?” she then asked.
“An order of cheese sticks with ranch,” Jay said before biting his bottom lip and scanning the menu again. “Also, an order of the spicy sweet potato fries.”
“You got it. Be right back with your drinks.”
