Page 21 of His Temptation
My eyes had to be playing tricks on me. There was no way Cason could be the guy I’d been meeting up with.
“Mr. Cross?” he asked, his brown eyes big and full of questions.
Goddammit.
Shock. Embarrassment. Arousal. I felt them all.
“Come inside,” I said, opening the door wider so he could walk through and then closing it behind him. I hesitated in place, hand on the handle and not looking at him. My heart went wild, and my head spun.
When I’d received the message from SportsGuyearlier that evening and checked out his photos, I had been more than intrigued. Athletic build with sexy abs and a nice tan. Definitely my type. Then he’d said he was only eighteen. I had nearly turned him down right there, but then he’d made me laugh. And it had felt nice. I had also thought of Cason… and as wrong as it might be, I’d thought I could fuck this guy and get it out of my system.
Get Cason out of my system.
In what kind of screwed-up world would SportsGuy turn out to be the one man I’d been trying to get out of my head?
“Mr. Cross, I—” Cason went silent as I finally faced him. His cheeks reddened and his breaths came quick. Light brown hair was styled, and he’d doused himself in cologne. He’d come ready to impress for sure.
“Did you know it was me?” I asked, irritated. But my annoyance wasn’t his fault. Not really. It came from the months of me wanting him and struggling with the taboo nature of that want.
I’d had suspicions he was into me, but I hadn’t been certain. And now he was standing in my hotel room, a temptation like no other.
“What? Of course not!” Cason backed up, shaking his head. “I didn’t even know you were gay, Mr. Cross.”
“Stop calling me that.” Pointing out our age difference made me feel even worse. Made me feel wrong.
“Should I call you Liam instead?” Cason asked.
I released a sharp breath and scrubbed my hands over my face. I was both mortified and racked with guilt.
“No.”
“Is Liam like your hookup name? Are you not out?”
“It’s my middle name,” I answered, focusing on him. He hadn’t moved from his spot, and he seemed less shy but no less curious. “I’m not surprised Ryan never told you.”
“That your middle name is Liam? No, he didn’t tell me.”
I knew he was trying to be cute, but it only annoyed me even more. This wasn’t the time to crack jokes. What should I do? It wasn’t like we could pretend this never happened. Never in a million years did I think I’d ever be in this position.
“So, Ryan knows you’re gay?” Cason sat on the bed and arched a brow at the condoms and lube I’d placed on the comforter.
“Yes,” I answered, going over to remove them. Sex definitely wasn’t happening that night. I tossed them in the drawer beside the bed. “He doesn’t approve.”
“Approve? Like he’s homophobic?” He dropped his gaze to the floor. “I kinda got that vibe from him but didn’t wanna believe it.”
“I assume you haven’t told him about you?” I sat on the bed, keeping a distance between us even though I ached to be closer.
Cason shook his head. “I’m still figuring things out. I don’t know if I’m gay or just questioning, so I started experimenting with stuff to get a better idea. But it’s hard not having anyone to talk to about it.”
God, he reminded me of myself.
“I know the feeling,” I said, clasping my hands together and running my thumb over the place my wedding band used to sit. “I struggled as a teen before figuring it out. And once I did, it terrified me.”
“What did you do then?” Cason looked up at me, and once again, the wordinnocentcame to mind.
“I started dating Amber and got married.” I chuckled at his stunned expression, although the situation wasn’t exactly funny. I’d been in such a dark place back then. “Being gay wasn’t an option for me. Or, at least, I didn’t think it was. I come from a highly conservative family, and all I heard growing up was how gays were all abominations. Disgusting.” I looked at my hands again. At the ring that was no longer there. “I hated myself. So I locked that part of me away and hid behind a wife and false pretenses.”
Opening up to anyone about that part of my life was rare. I hadn’t even talked to Jay about it. So, why was I spilling it all to a damn kid?
