Page 108 of His Temptation
“He’s doing okay from what I can tell.” Ryan walked over to sit at the table. “He’s finally out of that damn apartment and away from his mom.”
I took a drink of my beer and sat across from him. “That’s good.”
“Shit, you look miserable.”
“Huh?”
“You really love him, don’t you?” Ryan asked, his gaze intense. “Just the mention of Cas and your whole face changes. It sucks. Before I knew it was him, I was glad you’d found someone. Because you seemed happy, and I hadn’t seen you that way in forever.”
I didn’t know how to respond.
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“For what?”
Ryan set his bottle down after draining half of it. I could see how difficult it was for him to talk about. “My issues with you being gay have made your life hell, and I’m sorry.” His eyes watered, and he looked away. “Cas was right, as he always is. I was a self-centered asshole who didn’t think about how you felt. I only thought about how it mademelook with you being gay, and it was stupid and I’m sorry. Which is why I’m stepping aside now.”
“Stepping aside?”
“Both of you look fucking awful,” Ryan said, waving a hand at me. “Just go talk to him and get back to how you were.”
“Are… are you saying you’re okay with us being together?”
“I’m notokaywith it. Like I said, it’s fucking weird. But you have my blessing or whatever. Cason’s had enough people in his life let him down, and you make him happy. And he deserves that—to be happy.” He stood from his chair. “So do you.”
I stood and approached him.
“What are you doing?” he asked before I pulled him in for a hug.
“Thank you,” I said, holding him a moment before releasing him.
“I didn’t do anything, but you’re welcome, I guess.” Ryan tried so hard to look indifferent, but I saw the tears in his eyes. “I can stay for a while if you want. We can watch some stupid crime show on Netflix or something.”
Ryan wasn’t good with emotions. He’d gotten that from me. However, this was his way of saying he wanted me back in his life.
“Sounds good,” I said.
He smiled before stepping away and going back to playing it cool. “Not like I have anything better to do tonight.”
“Want me to order a pizza?”
“Pepperoni,” Ryan said, his face lighting up a little. “Cas is a weirdo and likes plain cheese. Did you know that?”
“I did,” I answered, feeling that ache in my chest again. Then I shrugged it off and grabbed my phone to order the pizza.
Baby steps. Just as Jay had said.
***
Ryan stood on the pitcher’s mound and faced the batter on home plate. The catcher gave a signal, and Ryan shook his head. He gave another, and Ryan gave a quick nod before taking position.
Even though it was only practice, I still got anxious watching Ryan play. He had given me his practice schedule for the fall, saying I could come watch whenever I had time, so I had driven up to Fayetteville that Saturday to watch him and take him out to eat after.
Slowly, we were rebuilding our relationship, and I felt we were closer now than we had been even before he’d walked in on me and Jay the previous year. Everything was out in the open between us. The anger and bitterness was gone.
After practice, he showered and changed before coming out of the locker room. Then we went to a Japanese restaurant to have sushi. Ryan no longer gave me attitude, but he was still… well, Ryan. Which meant there was a hard punch of sarcasm, jokes, and some jabs at me.
“Have you talked to Cas yet?” he asked. “Or are you still too chicken?”
