Page 12 of Eryx
“I am not ashamed,” he responded in a defensive tone.
“Then why do you cover yourself?”
He puffed out a breath and kept walking. Sometimes I knew his thoughts, for they were written so clearly on his face, and then there were moments like now when I could only guess.
As the day drew on, we learned of another obstacle the trainers had thrown at us. We were no longer allowed to sleep on our mats in the barracks. The mats had been nothing comfortable to begin with, so it mattered very little to me, but the news took a toll on my companion. Clothes, hair, sandals, and now beds—each thing taken from us had chipped away at him.
At sunset, we walked through the valley plucking reeds for our new beds.
Axios clenched his jaw as he traveled farther. I knew he was sore. We all were. My joints ached and the soles of my feet stung as we treaded over rough terrain, stepping on thorns and sharp rocks. The ground softened when we reached the marsh where the reeds grew.
A boy approached Axios, but before he spoke, my companion shot him a deathly glare. The boy scurried off.
“They are not treating us this way to be cruel,” I said, wishing to erase his foul mood. “Although you may not believe it now, this is in our best interest.”
“How?” Axios growled, turning to me. “How will this aid us in any damned way, Ery?”
I didn’t react to his anger. Over the years, I’d become familiar with him lashing out on occasion as he released his frustrations at the world. I didn’t understand his misery. Yes, our lives were hard. But it would only make us stronger.
Why did he fight it so much?
“One day when we are soldiers, we will face these conditions again. It is to prepare us.”
“What if I do not wish to be a soldier?” Axios asked, then snapped his mouth closed.
His question stunned me. He didn’t wish to be a soldier? Ever since I was a boy, being a soldier was all I dreamed of. I couldn’t fathom a different life.
“Ax, we have no choice. We may not choose another occupation if we ever wish to become equals in Sparta. Do not let the men ever hear you say such a thing. This is our life. Being a warrior is the greatest of honors. Fighting for our lands, our home… for each other.”
I grabbed his arm as he started to walk away and spun him around to face me.
“Release me, Eryx.”
“No,” I said, holding on tighter. I searched his face, not recognizing the boy staring back at me. “What is really the matter? This is not you.”
Instantly, his anger dissolved. His brow dipped in the middle as he struggled for words. Gods, the shadows in his eyes made the ache return to my chest.
“I am nothing. I was not cut from the same gifted cloth as you, Ery. All of this is much more difficult for me.” Axios kicked at the tall grass and then motioned to himself. “Look at me.”
Since the moment I’d first seen him, I hadn’t looked away.
“Iamlooking at you, Ax.” I took hold of his chin. “Know what I see?”
He shook his head.
Still holding his chin, I leaned forward and pressed our foreheads together. How could he not see how incredible he was?
“I see someone who is kind and who stops to see the beauty of the world,” I said, remembering all the times I’d caught him staring off into the distance, smiling as he did. “Someone who likes to watch the birds fly in the sky, wondering where they go… wondering what it’s like to soar amongst the clouds. I see an intelligent mind who ponders what makes the sky blue and where the sun goes at night. But mostly… I see my truest companion.”
Axios drew back to meet my stare. “None of that makes me a warrior.”
He didn’t see himself clearly then. There was more to being a warrior than strength of body. His muscles might not be as impressive as others, but his mind? His heart? No one else compared to him.
No one ever had.
“A true warrior fights for what’s in his heart.” I trailed my fingers along his jaw before stepping away. “Youmay not see it now, but when the time comes for us to go to battle, you will be brave, for your heart is bigger than any I know.”
Axios cocked his head. “You have much faith in me. I wish I felt the same.”
