I moved closer to Axios in an almost possessive manner. I had no control over the response. When faced with a threat, I acted on impulse. And the king with his obvious longing for Axios was definitely a threat. Their connection broke, much like the strings keeping my heart in place.
We walked farther, and with each step away from the king, it became easier to breathe.
“Do you know how long the journey will be?” Axios asked. The sound of the men’s steps upon the earth added to the clanks of spears against shields.
“I heard Teleutias speaking to the other officers yesterday. Another of our armies is in Potidaea under the command of Eudamidas. We are to stop in the city to gather them before marching on the capital. Should take a month. Maybe less depending on our rate of travel.”
Axios nodded and looked ahead. We were nearly out of the city. Soon, we wouldn’t recognize the landscape around us. The olive trees we’d walked past countless times faded from sight. The woods we’d run through did the same. When we reached Sparta’s borders and kept going, I found myself a bit excited.
Was this the feeling Axios often spoke of? He desired to travel the world, to visit faraway lands. And for the first time, I shared his curiosity for what that might entail.
I glanced over at him and felt the ache in my heart from earlier begin to heal. He stared in wonder at the rolling valley in the distance before casting his gaze upward. Neither of us wore our helmets and instead carried them, so I was able to see the joy in his expression.
“Why do you smile?” I asked, tilting my head in wonder.
“It just occurred to me that I might at last see the sea on our journey,” he answered.
The sea had been in nearly every dream he shared with me. He wished to sail its waters, to dive into the blue water and swim under the heat of the sun. All he had were stories of such things, never having been there himself.
Laconia was surrounded by the sea; however, we Spartans lived inland and had no access to it. Mountains rose on all sides of us and made travel to the water much too difficult. It was one reason we had little use for naval fleets and trading ships.
“I should not be surprised to see you finding the smallest glimmer of happiness in such an ominous expedition,” I said, brushing my hand against his in our familiar way. “The man who finds joy in unraveling the mysteries of nature and who questions everything… of course you would seek the light when cast in shadow.”
He pressed his lips together, and I saw his mind at work as he considered my words. Then, he responded, “Even in dark days, we must always seek the light. Once we surrender to darkness, we lose hope, and without hope… we have already lost.”
Staring into the honey pool of his eyes, love swelled in my chest. He had come so far since the day I’d seen him in the arena, covered in bruises and blood as Felix beat him. The Axios before me now thrived with confidence.
I love you, I wanted to say. Instead, I held my tongue and faced ahead.
We had a long road ahead of us.
As more hours passed, he grew tired of carrying his helmet and placed it on his head. I suppressed a smile when he wobbled a little. During the times we had trained with them on, he had detested them and said they were bulky, heavy things.
I followed his lead and put mine on too. Only my eyes and mouth showed. The rest of my face was covered. As the sun shone down on us, the helmet became stifling. Sweat drenched my hair and coated my skin. Though the day was warm, it could’ve been much worse. Summer was nearly at an end, so as the sun made its way across the sky, a refreshing autumn breeze helped keep us from roasting alive.
At dusk, the men several rows ahead stopped, followed by the men behind them. Axios moved his head to try to see around the man in front of him.
“I believe we are stopping to camp for the night,” I answered his unspoken question, removing my helmet. My hair was damp, and my muscles ached from the exertion of carrying the large shield all day.
The soldiers broke formation and divided into groups to set up camp. The wide terrain allowed us to spread out enough to where we weren’t shoulder-to-shoulder like we had been all day. No fires were made that night. Instead, we took a ration of rye bread and salted meat from our supplies and ate in silence. We were all much too exhausted to converse.
Afterward, we lay on the ground to sleep. The years in theagogehad prepared us well for the conditions of traveling for battle. The chill in the night air and the hard ground barely fazed me. My stomach growled its complaint, not having had nearly enough to eat. But I had been conditioned for hunger as well.
Axios fell asleep almost instantly. I draped my cloak over us both and rested my head against his before closing my eyes. It seemed I was being awoken by the rising sun minutes later.
The march north continued.
As the days passed, Axios lost his former excitement. He no longer smiled at things he’d once loved, such as singing birds and the wind in the trees. Our days became monotonous; waking early, marching in formation until the sun set, a quick meal before sleeping, and then waking the next morning to do it all over again.
Theon and Quill attempted to lighten the mood, but their spirits fell soon, too, and not even they could lift the crushing boredom.
And then the sea came into view.
We were passing through the outskirts of Corinth when it appeared in the distance. Axios gaped and exhilaration sparked in his eyes once more. Seeing his joy triggered my own, albeit briefly. The moment faded much too soon. We marched away from the sea, and as it faded from sight, Axios sighed with disappointment and faced ahead.
The march continued.
Days turned to weeks. One evening, after we had eaten our portions of bread, cheese, and dried meat, I caught Axios staring at a strand of grass he’d plucked from the ground. He moved it between his fingers before slowly tearing it into pieces and tossing it back down.