Page 100 of Eryx
I felt heavy, as if—like Atlas—I’d been condemned to hold the weight of the sky on my shoulders.
“When you find Axios, tell him I’m waiting for him,” I said, patting Haden’s arm before turning to leave. “He’ll know where to find me.”
With each step I took toward our secret place in the woods, the weight gradually lifted from me. The stream had become a solace from the harshness of our lives. While there, I was not Eryx, a warrior born to fight and die for Sparta. I was Eryx, a man who told stories to comfort those around him. A man who ever so secretly wished he could have a quiet life with no threat of war.
But I would never say this to anyone.
As I walked through the field, I glided my hand along the tall grass, remembering two boys laughing as they chased each other through it. When I reached the woods, I recalled the memories of Axios and I hunting together. I could even remember the smell of his skin as I backed him up against a tree, running my nose along his throat before placing a kiss there.
A sad smile touched my lips, and I kept walking.
Once at our secret place, I sat beside the stream and brought my knees up to rest my arms on them. The sound of the water was peaceful in a way very few other things were. Minutes passed. An hour. And then I sensed him.
Axios wasn’t exactly quiet as he moved through the trees. Instead of finding humor in this, I felt only… sadness.
“I am going to miss this,” I said, staring at the water. I knew he could hear me. “The sound of the stream as it rushes from place to place, the birds as they fly overhead, and the tranquility of being here with you, away from everyone.”
Axios sat beside me on the grass. “There will be other streams on our travels. Other birds.”
“But they will not be the same,” I said, finally looking at him. He regarded me with a kind smile. “I often tell you to be strong. To be not afraid. And now I am the one who fears change. We have never gone beyond Sparta’s borders… never left home.”
I grabbed a rock and threw it into the water as frustration boiled in my core. “By the gods, I wish to be brave! Yet, my worrisome thoughts plague me, and here I sit afraid. Perhaps, I am my father’s son after all. A coward.”
I felt his eyes on me, yet I couldn’t meet his gaze. I was too ashamed.
“Eryx, look at me.”
I didn’t. I couldn’t. I had always been the confident one between us. When Axios was afraid or taken with doubt, I spoke encouraging words. I was the one he leaned on for support.
And now I’m falling apart.
Axios grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. “A man without fear is not brave. Bravery comes from being afraid, but doing a thing anyway. To be courageous is to fear death, and yet, charge at the enemy anyhow. Fear doesnotmake you a coward. But overcoming it makes you a man.”
Honey eyes, black hair, and lips made for mine. Doubt had crashed down on me again, like Atlas and the sky on his shoulders. But Axios helped carry the weight. He was the one who gavemestrength this time.
“You have always been troubled by the thought of war,” I spoke, taking his hand. “How is it you are so calm?”
“Because I have you by my side,” he said. I allowed his confidence to seep into me, taking my fear and sorrow at the thought of leaving our home. “And I know whatever we face, we face together. I—”
I cut him off by pulling him in for a kiss. He gripped my bicep as he guided me to my back on the grass. I rolled on top of him and pinned his arms above his head. He smiled against my mouth in our small fight for dominance. Lips moved together, unrushed. I savored him. His taste. His scent. His warmth.
I could never kiss him enough. And a gut feeling told me our kisses were numbered. The thought made me whimper against his mouth. He pulled back to gaze up at me with concerned eyes.
“Ery, what’s—”
I crashed my lips to his again. It took him a moment to ease back into the kiss, but then he started panting and moving my hand to where he wanted me to touch as the fires of lust consumed him. I squeezed his backside, and he groaned in approval.
As our bodies joined, I forgot about the approaching battle and focused only on him. Nothing else could reach us in that moment.
***
I woke before anyone else. I lay with Axios nestled against my chest. He faced away from me, but there was no space between us. My arm was draped over his torso, and his arm rested atop it. His breaths were even, slow, and I made no move to wake him just yet.
Men stirred outside the barracks. Doors slammed and shouts filled the air as the commanding officers barked orders for the army to rise and prepare to march.
Axios jolted in my arms and then relaxed when I kissed his shoulder. His arm tightened on mine. I pressed my face against his back.
“I shall never forget the way your skin smells in the morning,” I whispered, moving my nose along his shoulder and to his nape. I kissed him there. “Nor how warm you feel in my arms.”
